Kids today don't lose.
Kids today are never picked last for games.
Kids today aren't walloped upside the head with a dodgeball.
Kids today go to college and try to diagnose every literary character's mental conditions and prescribe them the same meds they've been on since they were toddlers. It's true. Just heard it on the radio. An NYU english professor was bemoaning the fact that her students can't deal with the fact that Bartleby the Scrivener was a weird dude. They want to figure out what's wrong with him and share their prozac and lithium with him so that he lives a happier life.
Why?
Probably because they've never had to deal with disappointment or unhappiness.
This isn't to say that there aren't kids out there who need to be treated for various illnesses, mental and physical, because there certainly are. BUT, from what I hear from parents of young children, their kids never have to deal with what adults my age dealt with as kids.
My colleague at work has three kids. The two oldest play little league. They are 9 and 7. They've never lost a game until this year, since no one keeps score until they are deemed old enough to handle it. And in every game this year, every kid has to hit and field. So no one feels bad.
I played t-ball when I was 6, 7 and 8. They didn't keep score then either. But the kicker was, the kids all did. We certainly did. We knew who won and lost. And we went about our 6, 7, and 8 year old lives happily win or lose. As long as we got Slurpees. And I was terrible. I was put into the deepest part of the outfield. Or, if you prefer, the shallowest outfield position on the adjacent field, in the middle of another game. Why? Did I mention I was terrible.
You know what that taught me? Baseball wasn't my game. Nor was basketball, where I couldn't hide in the deep outfield. Soccer was ok. Street hockey was my world and I was good at that. I didn't dwell on being bad at baseball. I learned to deal with the disappointment of playing poorly, of losing almost every game, of hitting the tee farther than the ball. I adjusted and learned that I wouldn't always be happy. And I hope to buck the trend of today with my daughter. She'll lose, she'll play poorly, she'll be sad and disappointed. She'll learn to deal with this and the fact that happiness is not guaranteed.
That's the way life was and should be. Happiness should not be our default. We should expect the occasional disappointment and failure and learn to deal with them. Happiness will return, disappointments will fade, success will visit once again.
Showing posts with label Manifestoes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Manifestoes. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Friday, July 31, 2009
Time to Take Out Some Trash
Ramblings and rants that have been bouncing around my brain lately:
1. As an employee of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of our state reps and senators for doing an amazing job in Harrisburg. Truly.
By sticking to your convictions that it's better to be a good republican or a good democrat over all else, you've guaranteed that I won't be getting a paycheck for the foreseeable future. God forbid you actually work for the citizens of this fine Commonwealth instead of working to protect the little letter after your name.
You are all a bunch of complete assholes.
2. Wawa, I sing your virtues on a near-daily basis. I enjoy your coffee and the ease with which you allow me to purchase items quickly. I take baths in your buffalo blue cheese sauce.
So why you playing me like a fool? Extending Hoagiefest until August 9th?? Making sure both versions of the hoagiefest songs stick in my brain for another week?? How could you????
3. I think we need a better definition of racial profiling. Police officers responding to a call of an attempted break-in are not racially profiling anybody if they pull up and find a black guy inside a house which he entered through a window after not being able to open the door, EVEN IF THE BLACK GUY LIVES THERE! Police officers stopping a young black man who stands about 6 feet tall, weighs about 200 pounds, wearing blue running pants with a yellow stripe and a grey t-shirt an is doing nothing other than jogging at 11 pm are not racially profiling anyone IF THEY RECEIVED A DESCRIPTION OF A RAPE SUSPECT WHO WAS A YOUNG BLACK MAN WEARING RUNNING PANTS AND A GREY T-SHIRT AND IS 6 FEET TALL AND WEIGHS 200 LBS!
(The second one actually happened to a friend of mine in college. He never claimed racial profiling, but many of our friends did. He's a cop now.)
I worked in law enforcement for many years going back to my college days and I work in law enforcement now. Racial profiling DOES happen. There are bad cops and DA's and judges out there who jam people up for being black or Hispanic. BUT, what everyone calls racial profiling is usually not. The examples above are not profiling and the media needs to stop calling them profiling.
The police are given the task to respond to problems that we cannot deal with as regular citizens for, mostly, safety reasons. The Cambridge police receive a call of a possible break-in and the person in the house happens to be black and live there? How is that racial profiling? And taking it a step further, if you mouth off to a cop you are getting arrested. Black, white, Hispanic, Asian, whatever. That's a fact.
Had the Cambridge police been driving by and saw a black guy sitting on the porch and they stopped and bothered him, we could all cry racial profiling.
This very same thing happened in my own family. A relative was having a house built and decided to go poke around the construction site on a weekend. A neighbor saw a car parked in front of a house site and a guy poking around in all the stuff there and called the police to report a possible theft of construction supplies and equipment. The police rolled up and demanded to see my relative's ID and demanded to know what he was doing there.
Did I mention that we are white?
The police were doing their job. It doesn't matter what color any one is in that situation, the police have a job to do. Just because the perpetrator or the guy breaking into his own house is a minority does not make a situation one of racial profiling.
1. As an employee of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of our state reps and senators for doing an amazing job in Harrisburg. Truly.
By sticking to your convictions that it's better to be a good republican or a good democrat over all else, you've guaranteed that I won't be getting a paycheck for the foreseeable future. God forbid you actually work for the citizens of this fine Commonwealth instead of working to protect the little letter after your name.
You are all a bunch of complete assholes.
2. Wawa, I sing your virtues on a near-daily basis. I enjoy your coffee and the ease with which you allow me to purchase items quickly. I take baths in your buffalo blue cheese sauce.
So why you playing me like a fool? Extending Hoagiefest until August 9th?? Making sure both versions of the hoagiefest songs stick in my brain for another week?? How could you????
3. I think we need a better definition of racial profiling. Police officers responding to a call of an attempted break-in are not racially profiling anybody if they pull up and find a black guy inside a house which he entered through a window after not being able to open the door, EVEN IF THE BLACK GUY LIVES THERE! Police officers stopping a young black man who stands about 6 feet tall, weighs about 200 pounds, wearing blue running pants with a yellow stripe and a grey t-shirt an is doing nothing other than jogging at 11 pm are not racially profiling anyone IF THEY RECEIVED A DESCRIPTION OF A RAPE SUSPECT WHO WAS A YOUNG BLACK MAN WEARING RUNNING PANTS AND A GREY T-SHIRT AND IS 6 FEET TALL AND WEIGHS 200 LBS!
(The second one actually happened to a friend of mine in college. He never claimed racial profiling, but many of our friends did. He's a cop now.)
I worked in law enforcement for many years going back to my college days and I work in law enforcement now. Racial profiling DOES happen. There are bad cops and DA's and judges out there who jam people up for being black or Hispanic. BUT, what everyone calls racial profiling is usually not. The examples above are not profiling and the media needs to stop calling them profiling.
The police are given the task to respond to problems that we cannot deal with as regular citizens for, mostly, safety reasons. The Cambridge police receive a call of a possible break-in and the person in the house happens to be black and live there? How is that racial profiling? And taking it a step further, if you mouth off to a cop you are getting arrested. Black, white, Hispanic, Asian, whatever. That's a fact.
Had the Cambridge police been driving by and saw a black guy sitting on the porch and they stopped and bothered him, we could all cry racial profiling.
This very same thing happened in my own family. A relative was having a house built and decided to go poke around the construction site on a weekend. A neighbor saw a car parked in front of a house site and a guy poking around in all the stuff there and called the police to report a possible theft of construction supplies and equipment. The police rolled up and demanded to see my relative's ID and demanded to know what he was doing there.
Did I mention that we are white?
The police were doing their job. It doesn't matter what color any one is in that situation, the police have a job to do. Just because the perpetrator or the guy breaking into his own house is a minority does not make a situation one of racial profiling.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
A New Year, An Old Jewbacca
[RANT]
I am constantly annoyed by things in this world. At least eight times every trip to work in the morning and probably close to double that on the way home I feel the urge to kill rising in my gut.
What troubles me so? The lack of awareness and respect that seems to pervade every part of society.
And this morning, I saw in living color on my very own television something that drove that point home. It was a show called "Parking Wars." It was (is?) filmed in my fair city and follows the employees of the PPA (Philadelphia Parking Authority) on their appointed rounds.
Having been the victim of their ticketing on several occasions I am familiar with their special brand of handcrafted day-ruining (though there was a time when it was cheaper to let your meter expire and get the ticket than it was to park in a garage). But I also know that if I let my meter expire I am going to get a ticket. Same if I double park, park in front of a hydrant, or park in a handicap spot. I accept the fact that there are rules for a reason and that there are people who's job it is is to enforce those rules. Heck, I WROTE parking tickets in college.
This morning I was watching this show over breakfast and was regaled with the tale of the young woman whose friend double parked, blocking a lane of travel in Center City Philadelphia. Simple, no? Double park, block morning traffic, get a ticket, grin sheepishly, pay the fine, move on....right?
Wrong. Accost the ticket writer, scream about the unfairness of it all, use the "2 seconds" argument, use the "my friend is from New York and didn't know better" argument, rally the passers-by, accuse the ticket writer of malfeasance, scream into the camera about how unfair it all is well after the ticket is given. That's how she chose to handle it.
Why does this person not see what they did is wrong? Ignorance and nil respect for the people around her, that's why. And in a nutshell, everything that is wrong in the world today..
Interestingly enough, when I opened the paper at lunch today (yes, opened the paper...the actual paper...delivered to my home every morning) and turned to the "Style and Soul" section to read the comics (a daily tradition since 1982) these two articles greeted me:
Double-Parking? Age Cheating? Who Cares?
which was directly below, in the print edition this gem:
A Flash of Celebrity
The latter article is about a company you can hire to send out three idiots with cameras to follow you around for three hours, at $1000 a pop, to make people think you're famous. $1000. For. Your. Own. Paparazzi. The very thing actual famous people want outlawed. You can hire them. To follow you around. I...
And the former article is an interesting essay into why people cut corners and break small laws. In short, why people are ignorant and have no respect for their fellow humans.
Probably because they are too busy hiring their own paparazzi. And it only hurt my heart and brain all the more when I read that the paparazzi company got its start following around U of D students while they were bar hopping. I don't mind U of D students bar hopping (have you ever been to Newark?), but I feel a stabbing pain in my alumni pride when I find out they gave credence to this d-bag idea.
So, in the space of roughly 5 hours I got to see, crystallized in front of me once on a flat screen and once in a "dying" medium, why this world is F'd up. And why its important for me to raise my soon-to-be-here child with the following simple credo:
Do the Right Thing.
If everyone did the right thing, I would not spend a good portion of my day in a blind rage planning a kill-crazy rampage. And there would be less ignorance and more awareness and a lot more respect.
[/RANT]
I am constantly annoyed by things in this world. At least eight times every trip to work in the morning and probably close to double that on the way home I feel the urge to kill rising in my gut.
What troubles me so? The lack of awareness and respect that seems to pervade every part of society.
And this morning, I saw in living color on my very own television something that drove that point home. It was a show called "Parking Wars." It was (is?) filmed in my fair city and follows the employees of the PPA (Philadelphia Parking Authority) on their appointed rounds.
Having been the victim of their ticketing on several occasions I am familiar with their special brand of handcrafted day-ruining (though there was a time when it was cheaper to let your meter expire and get the ticket than it was to park in a garage). But I also know that if I let my meter expire I am going to get a ticket. Same if I double park, park in front of a hydrant, or park in a handicap spot. I accept the fact that there are rules for a reason and that there are people who's job it is is to enforce those rules. Heck, I WROTE parking tickets in college.
This morning I was watching this show over breakfast and was regaled with the tale of the young woman whose friend double parked, blocking a lane of travel in Center City Philadelphia. Simple, no? Double park, block morning traffic, get a ticket, grin sheepishly, pay the fine, move on....right?
Wrong. Accost the ticket writer, scream about the unfairness of it all, use the "2 seconds" argument, use the "my friend is from New York and didn't know better" argument, rally the passers-by, accuse the ticket writer of malfeasance, scream into the camera about how unfair it all is well after the ticket is given. That's how she chose to handle it.
Why does this person not see what they did is wrong? Ignorance and nil respect for the people around her, that's why. And in a nutshell, everything that is wrong in the world today..
Interestingly enough, when I opened the paper at lunch today (yes, opened the paper...the actual paper...delivered to my home every morning) and turned to the "Style and Soul" section to read the comics (a daily tradition since 1982) these two articles greeted me:
Double-Parking? Age Cheating? Who Cares?
which was directly below, in the print edition this gem:
A Flash of Celebrity
The latter article is about a company you can hire to send out three idiots with cameras to follow you around for three hours, at $1000 a pop, to make people think you're famous. $1000. For. Your. Own. Paparazzi. The very thing actual famous people want outlawed. You can hire them. To follow you around. I...
And the former article is an interesting essay into why people cut corners and break small laws. In short, why people are ignorant and have no respect for their fellow humans.
Probably because they are too busy hiring their own paparazzi. And it only hurt my heart and brain all the more when I read that the paparazzi company got its start following around U of D students while they were bar hopping. I don't mind U of D students bar hopping (have you ever been to Newark?), but I feel a stabbing pain in my alumni pride when I find out they gave credence to this d-bag idea.
So, in the space of roughly 5 hours I got to see, crystallized in front of me once on a flat screen and once in a "dying" medium, why this world is F'd up. And why its important for me to raise my soon-to-be-here child with the following simple credo:
Do the Right Thing.
If everyone did the right thing, I would not spend a good portion of my day in a blind rage planning a kill-crazy rampage. And there would be less ignorance and more awareness and a lot more respect.
[/RANT]
Thursday, June 19, 2008
I Hate Interleague Play.
Could it be sour grapes from dropping 2 of 3 to the goddamn Red Sox at home?
Sure could.
But I am not a fan of anything in sports that smacks of pure gimmickry.
Glowing pucks? Worst. Idea. Ever.
Designated Hitter? Ridiculous.
The trapezoid behind the goal? Why?
The shootout? Shoot me.
The shootout, soccer division? How can a world wide tournament be decided by a skills competition? How about a game of UNO Attack instead.
Aluminum bats? Do sportswriters wax poetic about the "ping" of the bat? I think not.
The NBA? Waste of time.
Interleague play is an abomination visited upon one of the most tradition-bound sports. It's a pure money grab by the league and the team owners. Some 100 years went by without the Leagues playing until the Fall Classic.
MLB foists these ridiculous "rivalries" on teams that have no history. Phils-Red Sox? San Diego-Detroit? Seattle-Anyone in the NL?
Sure, the Subway Series and the Show-Me Series and the Citrus Series may pique some interest, but why not play them in the pre-season and award a nice, shiny trophy? Why do we need to interrupt the divisional races for a Phillies-Rangers series? Who cares?
Beyond the fact that all of this seems like nothing more than a Fox-Trax type gimmick, it is blatantly unfair.
How, you ask? Let's look at the numbers.
(A couple of caveats before we delve into my tens of minutes of research: 1. I know that the scheds are made prior to the season and there is no way to figure how teams will be doing by the time Interleague play rolls around; 2. I know there is an imbalance in the number of teams in each league. Bottom line: two great reasons to abolish interleague play once and for all. More on this later.)
Just parsing the NL East, the only division I care about at this juncture:
The Phillies play 15 games against 5 different teams who have a combined W-L record of 199-166 and an average team ERA of 3.98.
The Mets play 15 games against 4 different teams (I guess the subway series is a best of 6?) who have a combined W-L record of 143-147 and an average team ERA of 4.49.
The Marlins play 15 games against 4 different teams (I guess the citrus series is also a best of 6) who have a combined W-L record of 136-150 and an average team ERA of 4.10.
The Braves play 15 games against 5 different teams who have a combined W-L record of 178-184 and an average team ERA of 4.15.
The Nationals play 18 games against 5 different teams (Baltimore twice? The team whose owner tried to keep baseball out of DC for so long?) who have a combined W-L record of 176-184 and an average team ERA of 4.51.
How is this fair?
Teams spend the lion's share of a baseball season playing against their own division to win a quaint little thing called the pennant. They spend a little less time playing against the other teams in their league (roughly the same number of games as the other teams in their division) to round out the competition. Then suddenly they have to play against the other league?
It would be one thing if this was the NFL and the whole division played games against another whole division or the NHL where each team played a home and home against every team in the other conference (which they hopefully will return to shortly), but it's not. There is not a single common AL opponent that all NL East teams play this year.
Ditch Interleague play, now. It's useless. It's annoying. It breaks up an exciting season of intra-division games. At the very least, shelve the stupid thing until the divisions have an equal number of teams and the NL East can play the AL East and so on.
What's that? The Mets still have to play 6 against the Yankees? The Nats still have to play 6 against the O's?
Why? Money?
My point exactly.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Finally, Someone With Enough Sense to Stand Up to the NRA...
As some of you are aware, the unthinkable happened here in Philly over the weekend.
Three
One of these animals was killed by police, one arrested and one is on the loose.
What did these animals use to kill Sgt. Liczbinski?
The SKS carbine - considered simple and rugged - weighs about 8.5 pounds and can be bought legally for as little as $179. Instructions for cleaning and routine maintenance can be found on YouTube.
And what kind of ammo?
The gun that killed officer Liczbinski was outfitted with a 30 cartridge magazine and fired a 7.62x39mm bullet...
What does that mean to those of us sane people not obsessed with guns?
The SKS dates to the mid-40s and was originally designed for the Soviet infantry. The Red Army replaced the SKS with the AK-47. The Chinese military bought the SKS manufacturing equipment and produced more than 8 million of them.
Here is the million dollar question: For what possible purpose would three worthless animals have such a firearm?
Pretty much for the reason it was used: To penetrate a police car and an officer's bulletproof vest. There is no other reason for anyone to own this gun. You hunt with it, and you will be picking pieces of the critter you killed (congratulations little man!) out of the surrounding trees.
And this is exactly why Mayor Nutter signed a bill into law that would outlaw the sale and possession of assault rifles in the City of Philadelphia. There is no earthly reason to have a weapon of this type, outside of the military uses for which it was designed, unless you work overnight security in Jurassic Park or have particularly angry killer whales on your paper route.
And what did Mayor Nutter get for his troubles?
The NRA immediately sued the city on the grounds that the city does not have the authority to enact local gun control. They obtained a temporary restraining order to keep the city from enforcing the new laws.
That's right. The NRA sued the City of Philadelphia to block the enforcement of this and four other laws the Mayor sought to have put on the books...in a city that saw 392 murders in 2007.
So what did the Mayor have for the NRA today?
"I think it's insane," Nutter said. "The fact that we put forward a piece of legislation to prevent the sale and use and transfer of assault weapons and have a Philadelphia police officer assaulted on the streets with one, I think makes it pretty clear to anyone who is confused about this issue that there's no reason for any citizen, any person other than in law enforcement or in the military to have such a weapon."
He added: "There's no legitimate argument by the NRA, they need to get in the real world where the rest of us live and come to grips with these kinds of issues. They owe an apology to the family for their staunch opposition over many, many years blocking legislative support for these kinds of matters.
Amen. Couldn't have said it better myself with a speechwriter and two editors.
The NRA's response? Who cares. This is 1/3 my site and I don't have to give equal time to anyone, least of all those lunatics in the NRA.
Am I naive enough to think that an assault weapon ban would have stopped this? No, I am not. There is a reason these animals were criminals...I doubt they would have let a little ban on assault weapons stop them from getting one.
Am I too naive to see that this may be the Mayor cashing in on a family's grief to prove a point in a political-legal battle he may very well lose? No, I see that as well.
But the point is someone in a position of power in this great Commonwealth of Pennsyltucky is standing up to the louts of the NRA. Will it go anywhere? Probably not. Will it stop the lobbying in Harrisburg to
Does it make me feel a little better about this f'd up world to hear an elected official actually call the NRA out? You bet it does.
And when something this terrible happens, you need to look at the little things that make you feel one iota better than you did a minute ago. So thank you Mayor Nutter for giving us at least that tiny bit of hope -- hope that maybe not all is lost when it comes to the NRA and its insane agenda.
Did I mention that Sgt. Liczbinski left behind a wife and three children? Want to help? Here's how:
Donations can be sent to: Stephen Liczbinski Family Memorial Trust Fund, Police & Fire Federal Credit Union, 901 Arch St., Philadelphia, PA 19107.
Donations can also be taken to the Fourth District, 1301 S. 11th St.; the 24th District, 3901 Whitaker Ave.; or the branches of the Police and Fire Credit Union at 901 Arch St., 7604 City Ave., 8500 Henry Ave., 3338 S. Broad St., Byberry and Bustleton Avenue (Leo Mall), 7500 Castor Ave., or 3330 Grant Ave.
[Picture from Philly.com as well as the quotes above]
[UPDATE: They caught the missing animal last night well before the self-imposed deadline of Sgt. Liczbinski's funeral!! May he rot in hell.]
Friday, April 18, 2008
Not Worthy of Wrapping Fish: Washington Post
First, those idiots can one of their best and brightest (my own full disclosure: I have never read a single piece Ape's written in the Post, but his stuff on KSK is brilliant) for idiotic reasons.
Then, they let Mike Wise loose on the hockey-loving world. I know that this topic has been covered (better) by The 700 Level, but I feel the need to vent my spleen on this moron. I was hoping that my attendance at the game last night (more on that later) would be the catharsis that I needed to start the forgiving process to Mr. Wise, but it actually has only fired me up more.
Let's parse this "newspaper article" together, shall we?
Seriously? This is how a published sportswriter at a major American newspaper starts off an article covering the NHL Playoffs? He asks if the commissioner of the league can bribe an official?
So Ovechkin is soooooo good that he is both Kobe AND LeBron? And if he's good enough to embody the skills of not one but two NBA superstars why does he need help from the commissioner bribing officials to get "some kind of help." Do Kobe and LeBron get that kind of help from Stern? Seriously, I'm asking here. I hate the NBA so I have no idea if they do. And if they do, how does that make it right?
He then goes on to say that the "playoff push," which I always assumed happened prior to the actual playoffs, promised "pretty goals?" What the hell does that even mean? Aren't the playoffs when, unofficially, refs stop calling the clutching and grabbing so tightly? Aren't the playoffs when teams supposedly step up their D's to bring the hammer down on players only capable of "pretty goals?" Isn't that why a guy like John Druce scores nothing in the regular season but becomes Wayne F'in Gretzky in the playoffs?? Oh, and Mr. Wise, he played for your Caps if you're wondering. Check 89-90 when he scored 8 goals in 45 regular season games and 14 goals in 15 playoff games. One of the best underlying story lines of any Stanley Cup Playoff season is which guy will step up on which team. It isn't about "pretty goals."
Hockey progressives = idiot fans who liked the glow puck and think Sunrise, FL deserves a team over Winnipeg.
And I don't know what the Ballston comment means and I'm too much of a neanderthal Philly fan to look it up (more on that later).
FALSE. Thanks again 700 Level. And if Boudreau allows his players to get off their game and play the Flyers' type of game, shame on him. That is exactly what any team wants to do: Get the other team out of their comfort zone.
Fucking. A. Right. One thing you forgot Mr. Wise, your boy had just taken a dive that Helen Keller would have given a 10. Call us louts, we call it like we see it.
And isn't part of going to a bullfight to see the bull killed? I know I read something like that in The Sun Also Rises. That's right, we can read!
I don't know how to respond to this. How does playing well 4 on 4 mean a team prefers it to even strength. I'm not sure how that leap of logic ocurred. And is the fact that the Flyers have a great PK (penalty kill, Mr. Wise), relying on speed and physicality a problem that Bettman needs to adress as well?
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the winner of the First Annual Friendly Friends Award For Godawfulness in Journalism. The Flyers don't act like anything. They play hockey. They play hockey. They play it well (at times). They are physical and they use their size, speed and strength to kill penalties. They aren't deciding between demoralizing a psychologically wounded offense and scoring shorthanded. They are PLAYING HOCKEY.
If they wanted to demoralize something psychologically wounded I'm sure that John Stevens could take them to a mental hospital and coach them into stealing the patients' juice and cookies.
Solid fundamentals of ice hockey = "punking?" Is that why Ashton Kutcher came running out of that production van parked across Pattison Avenue?
And an unmistakable air of testosterone? What? Really?
Question of the day: So fucking what?
I've been to NHL games in Philly and Long Island. I've been to AHL games in Philly, Hershey, Wilkes Barre and Manchester, VT. I've been to UHL games in Elmira and Danbury. I've been to ECHL games in Trenton. I've been to OHL games in Erie, Oshawa and Peterborough. And I've been to QMJHL games in Lewiston, ME. Guess which arenas didn't show fights on the "video scoreboard?"
Give up?
Only the ones without video-playback capability.
I do agree with the "Vengeance" thing. I haven't liked it since the beginning of the season. Who are we getting revenge on for last year? Shouldn't it be on the GM and coaches?
But "Rock the Red?" Seriously? Pick a color in your uniform and rally around that as a slogan? Why not "Wahoo! We Wear White!" or "Bellow 'Bout Blue?"
No, I think the Flyers just wanted to beat their opponent, much like any of the other 29 teams in the NHL want to do every night.
Impossible to fathom a rink as loud as the Verizon Center? Season attendance in Philly: 801,797 total, game average of 19,556 for an average percent of capacity of 100.3%. Season attendance in DC: 634,381 total, game average of 15,472 for an average percent of capacity of 82.9%. And you can't fathom why the Philly faithful are louder and more passionate?? Maybe it's because we're there EVERY SINGLE GAME not just when we're on a hot streak at the right time. And by the by, last season, when the Flyers were dead last they played to a rink that was 98.9% full every night. The Caps? They played to a rink that was 74.6% full and they had "pretty goal" scorer Ovechkin all season. (Thanks ESPN.com for the numbers)
And I worked security in the Philly area for a while in high school and college, including a number of Megadeth-type shows (possibly even for a Megadeth show, they've all run together over the years) and I can honestly say, I have not a clue as to what that comment was supposed to mean. I saw plenty of women last night that looked like they stepped out of a Maxim or FHM spread (not to mention a couple that looked like they were in the first pictures of a Playboy spread). I didn't know there was a "Megadeth Security Guard" look out there. Is it like emo? Goth?
And boo-fucking-hoo about the Riley Cote billboard. If the Caps had a better marketing department ("Rock the Red" everyone!!!) they'd have come up with the same thing for Brashear.
And last night they showed a video of the top goals of the season. So apparently running down season highlights is a no-no in Mr. Wise's world.
Last night, between the 1st and 2nd period, they lined up Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and a small riser full of nuns. We all took turns throwing our city-issued D-Cell batteries at them!!! What fun indeed!!
So Anaheim wins the cup last year playing a newly physical game and they're geniuses. The Flyers play the way they've played since Ed Snider decided in the early 70's that his teams wouldn't be pushed around by the Blues anymore and they are an "instant repudiation" of what some failed commissioner wanted as his personal vision of the NHL? I don't follow.
DING!! Right out of the box!!
Until someone on the Caps clears the porch, Hartnell will sit there drinking his Countrytime Lemonade much like Timmy Kerr did in the 80's. That's how it works, Mr. Wise, in hockey.
DING!!! AGAIN!!! Perhaps they "Overacheived" their way into the playoffs and they're getting exposed for it now? Naw, couldn't be.
Wow. Someone bribe the refs so the Caps can score "pretty goals" and win!
Sweaty has informed me that Mr. Wise was on the radio here and admitted he knew nothing about hockey and was an NBA guy. No shit. Better actually watch a game before you write your next article.
And for making it this far? HOT HOCKEY GIRLS! And a former Cap.
Then, they let Mike Wise loose on the hockey-loving world. I know that this topic has been covered (better) by The 700 Level, but I feel the need to vent my spleen on this moron. I was hoping that my attendance at the game last night (more on that later) would be the catharsis that I needed to start the forgiving process to Mr. Wise, but it actually has only fired me up more.
Let's parse this "newspaper article" together, shall we?
Can't Gary Bettman pay off someone to ensure his meal ticket for the next decade advances to the second round? Doesn't Tim Donaghy live close by? Does he still have his whistle? Can he skate?
Seriously? This is how a published sportswriter at a major American newspaper starts off an article covering the NHL Playoffs? He asks if the commissioner of the league can bribe an official?
The Washington Capitals and their star Alex Ovechkin, the closest thing the NHL has to Kobe and LeBron, need some kind of help if they are going to genuinely awaken America to their game again.
All the pretty goals the playoff push promised? If Ovechkin can't shake loose soon, this Eastern Conference quarterfinal might go to the dogs soon.
So Ovechkin is soooooo good that he is both Kobe AND LeBron? And if he's good enough to embody the skills of not one but two NBA superstars why does he need help from the commissioner bribing officials to get "some kind of help." Do Kobe and LeBron get that kind of help from Stern? Seriously, I'm asking here. I hate the NBA so I have no idea if they do. And if they do, how does that make it right?
He then goes on to say that the "playoff push," which I always assumed happened prior to the actual playoffs, promised "pretty goals?" What the hell does that even mean? Aren't the playoffs when, unofficially, refs stop calling the clutching and grabbing so tightly? Aren't the playoffs when teams supposedly step up their D's to bring the hammer down on players only capable of "pretty goals?" Isn't that why a guy like John Druce scores nothing in the regular season but becomes Wayne F'in Gretzky in the playoffs?? Oh, and Mr. Wise, he played for your Caps if you're wondering. Check 89-90 when he scored 8 goals in 45 regular season games and 14 goals in 15 playoff games. One of the best underlying story lines of any Stanley Cup Playoff season is which guy will step up on which team. It isn't about "pretty goals."
The tenor of this rugged series is terrible news for hockey progressives everywhere, the way the Flyers have punked a nice bunch of free skaters who train in Ballston and used to be among the most feared offensive teams in the NHL.
Hockey progressives = idiot fans who liked the glow puck and think Sunrise, FL deserves a team over Winnipeg.
And I don't know what the Ballston comment means and I'm too much of a neanderthal Philly fan to look it up (more on that later).
A few Capitals employees nodded their heads approvingly when Mike Green squared off with Philadelphia's Scottie Upshall at the outset of the third period, as if to say, "Finally." But lost in the moment was an ugly truth: Green had never gotten into a fight at any level of the game according to HockeyFights.com, which tracks scraps all the way back to juniors.
When the Caps' offensive-minded defenseman lost it, Philly had won: Washington was trying to play the Flyers' bump-and-grind game.
FALSE. Thanks again 700 Level. And if Boudreau allows his players to get off their game and play the Flyers' type of game, shame on him. That is exactly what any team wants to do: Get the other team out of their comfort zone.
Midway through the third period of this demoralizing 6-3 loss at Wachovia Center, 20,000 people in fluorescent orange howled for their World Extreme Cagefighters, and a crowd in the upper bowl chanted vulgarities at Ovechkin that went beyond the bounds of loutish fan behavior. As the frothing masses left the arena, they felt good about the bull being struck and killed -- checking the multi-generational Russian wizards Ovechkin and Sergei Fedorov into humility as much as the boards.
Fucking. A. Right. One thing you forgot Mr. Wise, your boy had just taken a dive that Helen Keller would have given a 10. Call us louts, we call it like we see it.
And isn't part of going to a bullfight to see the bull killed? I know I read something like that in The Sun Also Rises. That's right, we can read!
This must gnaw at George McPhee's gut, especially the way the Capitals' general manager used to give no quarter as a player, unafraid to swap blows with bigger, stronger players.
But the Capitals hurt themselves, too: They couldn't get out of their own end for minutes at a time. Washington looked timid for much of the first two periods, the best four-on-four team in the NHL a month ago -- when each team is a man down -- mishandling the puck, losing its confidence with each careless cross-rink pass.
They stood around on the power play, waiting for someone to get open. Philadelphia has some rugged penalty-killers, quick and physical players who shave off two minutes of being a man down as if they prefer it to skating five-on-five.
I don't know how to respond to this. How does playing well 4 on 4 mean a team prefers it to even strength. I'm not sure how that leap of logic ocurred. And is the fact that the Flyers have a great PK (penalty kill, Mr. Wise), relying on speed and physicality a problem that Bettman needs to adress as well?
The Flyers act like they would rather demoralize a psychologically wounded offense than score a short-handed goal.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the winner of the First Annual Friendly Friends Award For Godawfulness in Journalism. The Flyers don't act like anything. They play hockey. They play hockey. They play it well (at times). They are physical and they use their size, speed and strength to kill penalties. They aren't deciding between demoralizing a psychologically wounded offense and scoring shorthanded. They are PLAYING HOCKEY.
If they wanted to demoralize something psychologically wounded I'm sure that John Stevens could take them to a mental hospital and coach them into stealing the patients' juice and cookies.
...For most of the evening, there was this unmistakable air of testosterone coming from the Flyers' direction that just reeked of physicality, a way of exerting their mauling style on the Capitals that just sent their denizens into some medieval state of euphoria.
"We want to make it physical between the whistles," Flyers Coach John Stevens said. "I think it's important for no other reason then it's the best tool we have to defend, to be honest with you. I think it's very important that we move our feet and finish our checks and get people pushed off the puck."
Translation: "We will keep punking the Caps until the NHL commissioner tells us not to."
Solid fundamentals of ice hockey = "punking?" Is that why Ashton Kutcher came running out of that production van parked across Pattison Avenue?
And an unmistakable air of testosterone? What? Really?
Did we mention they show fights on the video scoreboard every period here, more than most arenas show dunks in the NBA?
Something about this R-rated environment is just not conducive to Ted Leonsis' Family Pack Night or Ovie on Ice. The contrasts are so stark and revealing.
The Caps' postseason slogan: "Rock The Red." The Flyers? "Vengeance Now," which comes across as less of a slogan and more of a sequel to Charles Bronson's "Death Wish."
Question of the day: So fucking what?
I've been to NHL games in Philly and Long Island. I've been to AHL games in Philly, Hershey, Wilkes Barre and Manchester, VT. I've been to UHL games in Elmira and Danbury. I've been to ECHL games in Trenton. I've been to OHL games in Erie, Oshawa and Peterborough. And I've been to QMJHL games in Lewiston, ME. Guess which arenas didn't show fights on the "video scoreboard?"
Give up?
Only the ones without video-playback capability.
I do agree with the "Vengeance" thing. I haven't liked it since the beginning of the season. Who are we getting revenge on for last year? Shouldn't it be on the GM and coaches?
But "Rock the Red?" Seriously? Pick a color in your uniform and rally around that as a slogan? Why not "Wahoo! We Wear White!" or "Bellow 'Bout Blue?"
The Capitals didn't come out as Eastern Conference foes; they entered the playing surface like Russell Crowe entered the Coliseum in "Gladiator." Flyer fans didn't want to beat Washington as much as see Ovechkin bludgeoned, his teammates emasculated.
It's almost impossible to fathom, but the Capitals took the ice in front of a building as loud as Verizon Center last Friday. The fans wore orange instead of the Capitals' red, and many of the women and children looked as if they could work security for Megadeth.
On I-95 entering town there is a billboard of Riley Cote, a stumpy rogue who engaged in 24 fights this season, twice as many as Capitals tough guy Donald Brashear. Cote's wild-man eyes and his quick fists are the only features shown of the Flyers' player.
No, I think the Flyers just wanted to beat their opponent, much like any of the other 29 teams in the NHL want to do every night.
Impossible to fathom a rink as loud as the Verizon Center? Season attendance in Philly: 801,797 total, game average of 19,556 for an average percent of capacity of 100.3%. Season attendance in DC: 634,381 total, game average of 15,472 for an average percent of capacity of 82.9%. And you can't fathom why the Philly faithful are louder and more passionate?? Maybe it's because we're there EVERY SINGLE GAME not just when we're on a hot streak at the right time. And by the by, last season, when the Flyers were dead last they played to a rink that was 98.9% full every night. The Caps? They played to a rink that was 74.6% full and they had "pretty goal" scorer Ovechkin all season. (Thanks ESPN.com for the numbers)
And I worked security in the Philly area for a while in high school and college, including a number of Megadeth-type shows (possibly even for a Megadeth show, they've all run together over the years) and I can honestly say, I have not a clue as to what that comment was supposed to mean. I saw plenty of women last night that looked like they stepped out of a Maxim or FHM spread (not to mention a couple that looked like they were in the first pictures of a Playboy spread). I didn't know there was a "Megadeth Security Guard" look out there. Is it like emo? Goth?
And boo-fucking-hoo about the Riley Cote billboard. If the Caps had a better marketing department ("Rock the Red" everyone!!!) they'd have come up with the same thing for Brashear.
Five minutes into the game, they showed a video of Philly's top brawls this past season, many involving Cote grabbing hold of an opponents' shirt for leverage before pummeling him to the ice, which is just a swell environment for children -- children of Patrick Roy.
And last night they showed a video of the top goals of the season. So apparently running down season highlights is a no-no in Mr. Wise's world.
They flat-out market and sell violence here, sanctioned, unbridled assaults disguised as sport.
Last night, between the 1st and 2nd period, they lined up Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and a small riser full of nuns. We all took turns throwing our city-issued D-Cell batteries at them!!! What fun indeed!!
The Flyers are an instant repudiation of what Gary Bettman wanted the league to become. They are a reminder of the NHL's pugilistic past that just won't go away. The result Tuesday night was Hartnell and Daniel Brière popping Cristobal Huet, making the Caps' goalie retaliate because no one on his team seemed interested in having his back at the moment.
So Anaheim wins the cup last year playing a newly physical game and they're geniuses. The Flyers play the way they've played since Ed Snider decided in the early 70's that his teams wouldn't be pushed around by the Blues anymore and they are an "instant repudiation" of what some failed commissioner wanted as his personal vision of the NHL? I don't follow.
Hartnell has become an annoying gnat in the crease, buzzing around Huet's ear now for two games as if he owns the area.
DING!! Right out of the box!!
Until someone on the Caps clears the porch, Hartnell will sit there drinking his Countrytime Lemonade much like Timmy Kerr did in the 80's. That's how it works, Mr. Wise, in hockey.
Unless Ovie and the Overachievers get untracked offensively soon and the sublime choreography of teamwork returns to the Capitals' line, there is but one hope left.
DING!!! AGAIN!!! Perhaps they "Overacheived" their way into the playoffs and they're getting exposed for it now? Naw, couldn't be.
Quick, someone find a number for Donaghy.
Wow. Someone bribe the refs so the Caps can score "pretty goals" and win!
Sweaty has informed me that Mr. Wise was on the radio here and admitted he knew nothing about hockey and was an NBA guy. No shit. Better actually watch a game before you write your next article.
And for making it this far? HOT HOCKEY GIRLS! And a former Cap.
Yes, Mr. Wise, Jaromir Jagr was a Cap. Sorry? What was that? You've never heard of him? Not surprising...
Sunday, April 1, 2007
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!!!
Well, this FF just returned from spending time with another double F.
French Fries? Naw, G.
Fried Fish? Naw, G.
Final Four? Heck naw, G.
[Note: This Jewbacca refuses to acknowledge basketball as a sport]
No, this FF was taken to see The Fab Faux by Mama Jewbacca as a birthday present.
French Fries? Naw, G.
Fried Fish? Naw, G.
Final Four? Heck naw, G.
[Note: This Jewbacca refuses to acknowledge basketball as a sport]
No, this FF was taken to see The Fab Faux by Mama Jewbacca as a birthday present.
These guys are absolutely unreal. They are five professional musicians from NYC who have dedicated themselves to the pitch perfect reproduction of the music of The Beatles. And of course, The Beatles are the greatest musical group of all time.
[Note: I will come to anyone's house who disagrees with the above statement and punch them in the neck. Hard. This, I promise to you]
These guys, accompanied by a string section and horns on songs calling for them, did a 3 1/2 hour show in which they reproduced the exact album versions of everything from Yellow Submarine (complete with bullhorns and ocean sounds) to I Am the Walrus (complete with all of the sonic lunacy included in the actual recording). They reproduce the exact sounds of these songs with voices and a myriad of instruments. They do not just make recordings of the Beatles and chop them up. They layer voices and instruments to make each song sound like it is made up of multiple tracks.
Completely unreal. I command all of our readers to see these guys ASAP. It is truly an unbelievable show.
Friday, March 30, 2007
The Internets Think I'm Gay
Through complex data mining and high-powered Web stand pipes choked with zeroes and ones, online marketers have decided that I am gay.
In the rhythmically efficient, Aikido-like redirection of my own sense of self, web-marketing analytics have ‘ported me into a branding closet which then jettisoned me out a changed man. I chalked up the contractions of that birth to the violence of segmentation and my dial-up connection. But I realize now there was more than spam involved.
There was magic. And then more spam after that.
This week alone I received 40 emails reminding me that I have serious decorating passions (Re: Decoupage…Get Your Spring on!) and tactful nudges that The Internets knows about both my private life and the life of my privates… and they are here to help.
The Internets know me and prove it in email: My favorite sitcom woman is (fanning face excitedly) appearing on Home Shopping Network, Suzanne Somers on HSN March 28-28:
“… First, we’ve got lots of knits…a knit topper, knit dresses and knit pants. I have new leopard, tan or dove gray suede wedge pumps with a cool round toe and sexy vamp. I also have great new silhouettes in our perfect stretch jean…. PERFECT SKINNY JEANS and PERFECT TROUSER JEANS. For all you sassy sartorial sweeties, I have an incredible selection of ultra-lightweight menswear-inspired separates that will blow you away!”
Suzanne, you had me at leopard tan. If only I weren’t gay I would demand that we both install a shower curtain together while Mr. Furley listens outside of the bathroom in terror, deliciously misconstruing our construction demands for sexual exclamations!
The intervention continues with a litany of bold email solicitations about how I can’t please women because I can’t get it up and at the same time I need lots of porn. Both kinds (if you know what I mean.) Each dovetails nicely with the high-eyebrow look the Internets have when they send my way.
Also, only I qualify for the best deals on all the hottest kitty cat appliqués for adorable shirts featuring our favorite best friends: cats.
While at first I was sad to hear that my life in the material world was but a travishamockery, my ethereal friend The Internets dropped the 411 and roused me from my stupor. I am thankful.
So come out of the closet with me my friends! Make sure you put on this Hanes sweatshirt with an impossibly puffy kitty cat on it.
I made it just for you. Because the Internets told me to. Now let’s hug. Mmmmm.
In the rhythmically efficient, Aikido-like redirection of my own sense of self, web-marketing analytics have ‘ported me into a branding closet which then jettisoned me out a changed man. I chalked up the contractions of that birth to the violence of segmentation and my dial-up connection. But I realize now there was more than spam involved.There was magic. And then more spam after that.
This week alone I received 40 emails reminding me that I have serious decorating passions (Re: Decoupage…Get Your Spring on!) and tactful nudges that The Internets knows about both my private life and the life of my privates… and they are here to help.
The Internets know me and prove it in email: My favorite sitcom woman is (fanning face excitedly) appearing on Home Shopping Network, Suzanne Somers on HSN March 28-28:
“… First, we’ve got lots of knits…a knit topper, knit dresses and knit pants. I have new leopard, tan or dove gray suede wedge pumps with a cool round toe and sexy vamp. I also have great new silhouettes in our perfect stretch jean…. PERFECT SKINNY JEANS and PERFECT TROUSER JEANS. For all you sassy sartorial sweeties, I have an incredible selection of ultra-lightweight menswear-inspired separates that will blow you away!”
Suzanne, you had me at leopard tan. If only I weren’t gay I would demand that we both install a shower curtain together while Mr. Furley listens outside of the bathroom in terror, deliciously misconstruing our construction demands for sexual exclamations!
The intervention continues with a litany of bold email solicitations about how I can’t please women because I can’t get it up and at the same time I need lots of porn. Both kinds (if you know what I mean.) Each dovetails nicely with the high-eyebrow look the Internets have when they send my way.
Also, only I qualify for the best deals on all the hottest kitty cat appliqués for adorable shirts featuring our favorite best friends: cats.
While at first I was sad to hear that my life in the material world was but a travishamockery, my ethereal friend The Internets dropped the 411 and roused me from my stupor. I am thankful.
So come out of the closet with me my friends! Make sure you put on this Hanes sweatshirt with an impossibly puffy kitty cat on it.
I made it just for you. Because the Internets told me to. Now let’s hug. Mmmmm.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Greetings and Salutations: A Mission Statement
THE FRIENDLY FRIENDS HAVE ARRIVED.
We're here.
This is what the internets and the innertubes and the ebays have been clamoring for.
One more general interest blog composed by three guys who barely have the combined intelligence to build that giant Capsela car.
We welcome one and all to the world of The Friendly Friends. We welcome the open exchange of ideas, ribbing of both the good-natured and malevolent type and the fact that the world should bow down to our power.
We are The Friendly Friends. We have a lot to say and we intend to say it.
And you'll like it.
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