The Definitive 1000

We are going to be counting down the Definitive 1000 things.
Why are they Definitive?
Because The Friendly Friends have deemed them as such.

#997-Funk




The late 60’s and early 70’s was when modern American culture was still in high school, showing erratic behavior and growing new bumps under its clothes. That culture was either in a confusing time or doing exactly what it needed to be doing.

Funk proves it was the latter.

There is hardly a person in the world that can deny the raw power of funk. Wither it resonates quietly in your soul or commands dancing, I will not allow you to deny the legs that funk has. The music and culture had a synergy still felt today; a synergy from the sense of identity, unity and the powerful awareness of what comes naturally to humans: making connections.

Built on African rhythms and blended with raw chunks of chemically-tainted, sweaty libido, no music better invites women to be strong and sexy and men to be more honest then a one-note-groove that moves your hips for you. Almost any rap worth listening to was hung on the funk backbone, exhumed from the sweaty jam-band spectacles of the 70’s long before human franchises like MTV. Human free agency existed as long as Parliament Funkadelic roamed the land sowing satisfied, dehydrated and sometimes sore throngs of funkateers.

To name everyone who subscribed to funk is pointless, suffice it to say that the positivity of funk is sorely missed in the age of self centered, weak-willed thugs content on promoting themselves and disrespecting their funkfathers. There isn’t one thug in all of rap today that would dare front on George Clinton. The industry can’t front on funk either. They wouldn’t dare, as they subsist on taking tiny bites out of great funk beasts for their pathetic sample-based product.

David Bowie, The Talking Heads, and Queen chose funk when “white” bands in the late 70’s and 80’s chose punk and classic rock wasn’t classic yet.

And then there was Prince.

I’d say that you should bow at every chance to Parliament Funkadelic, Brick, Earth Wind a Fire, Sly and the Family Stone, George Duke, The Isley Brothers, The Commodores, Kool and the Gang as well as Marvin Gaye and James Brown. The list goes on.

But the beauty of funk is that it doesn’t ask you to bow down. It asks you to lie down, funkily, and get with the state of funky grace.

Therefore, funk takes its non-weighted place on the Definitive 1000 as the smooth but firm shaper of hooks, looks and culture special to America… but funked by the world.