Friday, March 30, 2007

The Definitive 1000

We are going to be counting down the Definitive 1000 things. Why are they Definitive?
Because The Friendly Friends have deemed them as such.




#1000 - Box The Robot


Fish, and plankton. And sea greens, and protein from the sea. It's all here, ready. Fresh as harvest day. Fish and sea greens, plankton and protein from the sea. And then it stopped coming. And they came instead. So I store them here. I'm ready. And you're ready. It's my job. To freeze you. Protein, plankton...

These wise words were spoken by Box, the human freezing robot from Logan's Run. Box had the face of Destro and the body of a Frigidaire. Was he nonsensical? Yes. Was he awkward? Yes. Was he intimidating? No. I tell you what Box really was. Box was a trailblazer. If not for Box, would there ever have been a JINX from Spacecamp? Would any of us have tuned in to watch Vicki on Small Wonder? Would Conky 2000 have been there to dispense the secret word on Pee-Wee's Playhouse every Saturday if Box hadn't broken the unbelievable lame robot barrier back in the 70's? I think not! Not to mention the brilliant and academy award snubbing performance given by the voice of Box, the great Roscoe Lee Browne! If you want to watch Roscoe at his best since Logan's Run, catch some Cosby Show reruns on Nick at Night.

2 comments:

FFSHAMALAMA said...

My first impression is that CP30 and a tanning booth got freaky. Hopefully George Lucas isn't reading this. I may get sued.

FFMatt said...

Transcribed from my performance art piece about Box the Robot:

(Crawling on floor) You-metal bodied fridge with soul/
dance electrica, dance/
your core's cooooool... 32... degrees?

(stomping)YOUR! GUTS! HOLD! COLDCUTSSSssss

(Curling into ball)Breathless lungs like 2 liter Cokes/flat and black/like death...