Pleaseohpleaseohplease let the Curse strike again...

I hate the Pens. I cannot stand the constant whining from Crosby. Please let the gods of hockey smite him for touching the Prince of Wales Trophy and keep his name off the Stanley Cup.

[Pic from With Leather]

It's Bracket Time Again!!

And I'm not talking about that ridiculous time waster that will somehow cause businesses to lose eleventy-billion dollars in a month due to their employees working out brackets and watching games on their computers.

No, I am talking about the miraculous and sublime Name of the Year tournament.

I'm late to this party, as I only discovered it last year, but this thing is a million times better than trying to figure out if some idiot team from that idiot sport can beat another idiot team.

As an aside, the NCAA won't go to a football playoff partly because it would tie up the "student" athletes for too long. But in this idiot sport most teams play in a conference tournament and then possibly in a month long second tournament to decide a champion? Whatever.

Anyhow, with matchups like the 8th seeded Larry Koldsweat taking on the 9 seed Larry Warmflash in the Bulltron Regional and the 2nd seeded Nutritious Love battling the 15 seed Tequila Minsky (I smell upset!) in the Sithole Regional, how can you go wrong?

Who cares if some idiot campus of UNC from an idiot conference beats some other idiot school from another idiot conference??

What does matter is if the 3 seed Dallas Lauderdale can take out the 14th seeded Scorpio Babers in the Dragonwagon Regional.

Folks, these are all real names. They're real people. They are all vying for our votes. Log on, visit the site and make sure Juvyline Cubangbang makes it to the next round. Give Dr. Shasta Kielbasa his/her day in the sun. Honor Bunkless Bovian. Make sure the Buff Parrott avoids the Chastity Clapp.

My Morning Jacket: A Review

Tonight was the My Morning Jacket show at the Festival Pier on Penn's Landing.

They seriously tore it up. Completely. They came on at 7:45 and finished at 10:15. Unbelievable. A great combination of old stuff, really old stuff, and awesome new stuff.

I got chill from What a Wonderful Man He Was and Golden put a tear in my eye as usual.

I stink at typical reviews, since all I can say is how freakin great the entire show was. And that would get boring. I don't know the first thing about describing music other than whether it was good or not. I blame Professor Cottle and his soul-sapping Music Appreciation class for that.

To put it in Friendly Friend Picturebook fashion:

7:45 pm to 10:15 pm:




So instead, here are my random observations from a night on Festival Pier, the second worst concert venue in the Philadelphia Area (Great Plaza I'm looking at you):

First, I'm now officially old. The first thing I did when we finally got in was to find a bench to sit on. Festival Pier is a standing room only venue but they provide a few benches that provide zero view of the stage. I sat down. First thing. I didn't have any desire to crush up near the front. I did eventually get up to get a beer and I did sand to watch the show.

Second,I like to collect doppelgangers for people I know, as well as for famous people when I'm in a crowded situation. Tonight I collected exact doubles for the following five people: FFMatt, Mrs. Jewbacca's Brother, Weird Al Yankovic, Kristen Dunst and MC Serch. Every one of them caused me to do at least a triple take.

Third,why do people feel the need to talk constantly through a concert. There were two couples in front of me who literally spent the entire concert talking to each other. The guys talked to each other, the girls talked to each other. During. The. Entire. Concert. Every single song, every break between songs, the entire f'in time. Why? Next time take your Abercrombie and Eagle Hollister whatever the heck popped collars and sit at a bar and talk. Leave me be when I'm enjoying live music.

It was pretty damn awesome, if I haven't mentioned it yet. If MMJ comes to your town, go see them.

Chase Utley is the F'ing Man Reason #734

NSFW Audio...



F'ing A right. "Boo? F--- You!"

Now why can't Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, JD Drew and Scott Rolen have the same attitude about getting booed instead of being all sad about it?

The Definitive 1000

We are going to be counting down the Definitive 1000 things. Why are they Definitive? Because The Friendly Friends have deemed them as such.

#982a - It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
#982b - Charlie

If you do not cap off your Thursday nights with possibly the finest comedy on television right now, your life is probably a vast, empty wasteland of vast emptiness.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is a comedic tour de force. It is probably one of the best written shows on TV right now, and since it's on FX they can pretty much get away with anything.

Case in point:



But the true standout in this show is Charlie.

Witness:

Charlie Writes a Script for Dennis

Charlie Shares a Touching Moment

Charlie's Gay?

Charlie is Green Man

And still my personal favorite: ROCK, FLAG, EAGLE!

I love these posts where the presented material speaks for itself...

Watch It's Always Sunny, Thursdays on FX at 10 pm.

Music, Sweet Music, There'll Be Music Everywhere: The XPoNential Music Festival

Friends, I have seen the present/future of music, and it is good.

Where, you ask? Camden, NJ, believe it or not.

This past weekend was the XPoNential Music Festival put on by the best radio station on the planet: "88.5 WXPN Philadelphia, 88.1 WXPH Harrisburg, 90.5 WKHS Whorton-Baltimore Maryland and 104.9 in the beautiful Lehigh Valley...member supported radio from the University of Pennsylvania."

XPN is truly the finest radio station. I guess technically it is classified as Adult Album Alternative, which basically seems to translate to "we're not Clear Channel so we don't have to fit into a certain format like 'Jack' or 'Ben' or 'urban' or whatever." For anyone not in the area listed above (from the station's hourly identification) you can listen to the station itself or one of its other streams here.

So which of the bands did I see and what did I like? Glad you asked. I now present...

JEWBACCA'S GUIDE TO THAT MUSIC FESTIVAL THAT ALREADY HAPPENED

The festival opened Thursday night with a single stage smack on the Camden waterfront at Wiggins Park, facing the beautiful Philly skyline. The lineup consisted of

1. Slo-Mo with Mic Wrecka



Unbelievable start to the festivities. Slo-Mo resplendent in his white suit, Mic Wrecka wreckin' the mic. If it's possible to shred the slide guitar, Mr. Mo (Mike Brenner) did just that. The full accompanying band threw down on a quick set that rocked both "Shackamaxon" and "My Buzz Comes Back." Set the tone for a fantastic three days (the fest was four, but I missed Sunday, so no review of the last day....sorry). If any one knows of a better hip-hop/slide guitar combo, please let me know. Otherwise, get thee to a record store and buy everything my these guys.

2. James Hunter



I nearly left the concert alone Thursday night. Mrs. Jewbacca almost went home with Mr. Hunter. He's that good. Imagine a short, white, English, Sam Cooke/Al Green/James Brown mashup and that gets close to how good James Hunter is. He sounds like a 1960s R&B master that someone misplaced for 40-odd years and only now rediscovered. I command all who read this to see him and his band live...now.

3. Tower of Power
Disappointing. We left during the third song.

Friday, saw some hooky playing as me and Mrs. Jewbacca cut the last three periods of the day and went to the fest. This was the first day of the two stages, so I wasn't able to see everything. These bands blew me away though:

1. Eastern Conference Champions



Holy crap. They f'in rocked out. Can't tell you the name of a single song but they all sounded amazing.

2. Sam Roberts Band
These guys flew down from Montreal for their set and flew back right after. More than worth it. They too, rocked out.

3. Special Guest...G Love
Bob Mould was supposed to play the main stage, but didn't make it due to a broken ankle. So, they went to the bullpen and called in G Love. He did a real short set, but sounded great. "Booty Call" and "Cold Beverages" made it into the short set and nearly brought the house down. He said he was working on a new album so keep an eye out.

4. Ruder Than You



Old school ska at its finest. And refreshingly, there were some young 'uns skankin' hardcore. They're getting up there, but they still sounded fantastic.

We finished the night with Cracker (yes, that Cracker), Fountains of Wayne (played on through the mass exodus when they finished "Stacy's Mom") and The Fratellis. Unfortunately, none of them really brought it.

Saturday was another two stage day. The highlights:

1. Hoots and Hellmouth



Wow. They kicked off the main stage with "Want on Nothing." Wow. They almost got swallowed up by the giant stage but still brought down the house with "This Hand is a Mighty Hand." August 3 at Chaplin's in Spring City, PA. I command all in the area to see them there. You owe it to yourselves.

2. Illinois
A side stage surprise. Anytime a heavier sounding band features a lead who rocks the keyboard, the banjo and a fuzztone phone sounding thing all in the same set, I am there. See these guys. Soon.

3. Will Hoge



The surprise of the fest. Black Crowes-esque, with some Skynyrd mixed in for good measure, but definitely greater than the sum of those parts. The future of southern rock is in wonderful hands.

4. The Cat Empire



Incredibly fun. Rocked out "The Car Song" and had the whole park dancing along. Harry plays a mean horn too. Funk, jazz, blues, calypso...you name it it's in there.

5. Los Lonely Boys
Brought the Texican, and brought it fine. Instead of wrapping up with the standard encore (I was expecting "Diamonds" since they didn't play it in the set) the Garza Brothers embarked on a mind blowing jam that even jam-hating Mrs. Jewbacca had to agree was amazing.

Three great days in the sun listening to live music performed without click tracks or any of that crap that lesser talents have to rely upon.

Please check out these artists' web sites and support them. And check out XPN. Especially if you are as tired of corporate radio as I am.

They may have reunited, but they were not invited.

Past 1, Future 0: Brightness of Future and need to “Gotta" Wear Shades in Doubt

Walking to physical therapy yesterday showed me something special. People don’t know what time it is. Normally that’s just the world. But sometimes the little things break me, especially since it is 2007.

Thanks, asshole.

What is not fine or special is every Axe-doused or Fendi-toting re-re walking around with 1970 style mirrored sheriff sunglasses with the swagger that says, boum chickie-boum boum. On one walk smack jobs had 32 pairs on, no lie.

One or two I can take.

At least the era of leather Africa medallions in Philadelphia (1985-1991,) gaudy mode that it was, contained a powerful point (in my High School at least.) The white, college-prep Catholic school dress code was trumped by young African identity and hung unchallenged on razor ties from first period to the subway home… and nobody could issue a demerit about it. Word up and I’m with that.

Q: What happens when Lenny Kravitz suffers violent blunt trauma to the head?

A: This guy

But these sunglasses? That's what you do with your time? This is the kind of “buying the cool” purchase all dopy white people like Donald Rumsfeld would be convinced is truly kick-ass, as he picked up a pair at a turnpike rest stop along with a Diet Dr. Pepper and the latest issue of Hiney. America, you are all a bunch of sheep and defintly not porn stars. None of you would dare attempt real eyewear on your own, especially when you were actually making an original statement in the process.

My Direct Command: Go big, get off the 70's jock, be strong and wear Kool Moe Dee eyewear.

The man asked you a question... I suggest you answer him.

Finally, an NBA Draft "Live" Blog I Am In Favor Of....

I hate the NBA. I really, really do. NBA basketball in general is a boring, boring game that features (for the most part) thugs running up and down a hardwood floor beating the crap out of each other. Watching even a "highlight" of this "action" on a "sports network" like ESPN moves me to tears. I cannot stand basketball.

The coverage of the NBA draft, which is only two rounds long and only allows for what, 60 people of a worldwide population of 7 billion to be drafted has been wall-to-wall for the last month it seems. I couldn't swing a dead cat here on the intarnet without hitting draft coverage. Mock drafts, draft analysis, player profiles, expert opinions, Dick Vitale....it was all too much.

So how is it that I can recommend what was, last night, a live blog of the draft? Go here and see for yourself...

Big ups to Insomniac's Lounge!!

Happy Birthday to KSK

While the image above, which captures an obviously drunk Joe Willie Namath trying to smooch a bemused Suzy Kolber, took place almost four years ago, the website named in honor of the event celebrates its first birthday today.

Kissing Suzy Kolber is one of the best sports (mostly NFL) blogs out there today. And they're having a party. And they've invited some special guests. I implore you to go check it out and wish the Gay Mafia a happy 1st birthday.

Someone be sure to get pictures of them smearing the cake all over their cute little faces!

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!!!

Well, this FF just returned from spending time with another double F.

French Fries? Naw, G.
Fried Fish? Naw, G.
Final Four? Heck naw, G.
[Note: This Jewbacca refuses to acknowledge basketball as a sport]

No, this FF was taken to see The Fab Faux by Mama Jewbacca as a birthday present.

These guys are absolutely unreal. They are five professional musicians from NYC who have dedicated themselves to the pitch perfect reproduction of the music of The Beatles. And of course, The Beatles are the greatest musical group of all time.

[Note: I will come to anyone's house who disagrees with the above statement and punch them in the neck. Hard. This, I promise to you]

These guys, accompanied by a string section and horns on songs calling for them, did a 3 1/2 hour show in which they reproduced the exact album versions of everything from Yellow Submarine (complete with bullhorns and ocean sounds) to I Am the Walrus (complete with all of the sonic lunacy included in the actual recording). They reproduce the exact sounds of these songs with voices and a myriad of instruments. They do not just make recordings of the Beatles and chop them up. They layer voices and instruments to make each song sound like it is made up of multiple tracks.

Completely unreal. I command all of our readers to see these guys ASAP. It is truly an unbelievable show.