Monday, April 30, 2007

The Definitive 1000

We are going to be counting down the Definitive 1000 things. Why are they Definitive? Because The Friendly Friends have deemed them as such.

#994- Bollywood

I am a straight man and I don’t mind saying that based on my favorite porn vendor Telemundo, latino women are generally incredibly hot and the men, at least in a broadcasting capacity, not so much. I’m secure enough to make those calls. But the entertainment is sizzling. Even the kid’s programming has T&A which I find disturbing as a parent and ok as a pig.

So who brings the game to another level? India. Why? Class.

I’m a die hard fan of Bollywood, the musically-powered South Asian alliance of moviemakers that presents the world with as many musicals/garish displays as the guy I was stuck next to on the streetcar in San Fran last week.

India media (or Indeedia) proves to the world that the women of India can be at once the most physically striking and sonically threatening of all female bipeds ever in our evolution and every bit an answer to Hollywood, without tons of violence and sex. These women turn the Hollywood-esqe industry from juggernaught to juggy-naughty without the need to get Richard Gere involved, which is actually true with him in every case anyway. In fact those women just show up and you bask in their beauty/talent, forget lurid scenes and amazing nudity. Maybe hit mute when the singing starts, though. It’s an acquired taste, that. At least stretch first.

The men? Well, there is a price to pay for everything. As a man I feel like I’d have a shot with those impossibly gorgeous women and I know I dance better than those guys. Still, the power of India’s music cannot be stopped and barely contained.

If you cannot get your hands on any fine India export (I mean video/audio!) at least tune into Namaste America for a rock block of music videos direct from theatres; an hour program usually shows about 1.5 music videos, btw. That says a lot about the product.

Failing that, here are two of my older favorites from Youtube that prove how you can’t front on India entertainment:
Celebrating the release of Spider Man 3:


FFMatt said...

I have since learned that "Thriller" is possibly Sri Lankian.

My sincerest apologies to Sri Lanka. Actually, my sincerest apologies to India for blaming them to begin with.

Point stands though.

FFJewbacca said...

Dude. All I can say to both of those videos is WTF?!?!?

I sat transfixed and completely engrossed in both of them and I feel very strange inside for having seen them.