Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Things That Bother Me

I know this may seem somewhat hackneyed, but I am truly filled with much rage a lot of the time. It is usually over stupid things, but these stupid things manage to stick in my craw until I go on a kill-crazy rampage and end up getting tasered....again.

I find that spouting them off really helps. Problem is, if I do that to Mrs. Jewbacca one more time she will probably be the one tasering me. So here are my latest gripes, in a handy Four Questions format. And no I don't know why this night is different from all other nights. It ain't Passover anymore.

In no particular order:

1. Since when do sponsors no longer "sponsor" things?

How exactly does Home Depot "build" College Gameday on the "worldwide leader?" Does the crew from the local HD come out to the various stadia in one of those rip-off rental trucks with some plywood and the animatronic Lee Corso and actually hammer together the set? Does the HD have a video production unit I'm not aware of? Why can't HD just sponsor this waste-of-time show like the good old days. Another example is the website for the upcoming ATHF movie. I love the Aqua Teens. They are number one in the hood 'G, but how exactly does Volkswagen "power" the movie's website? Is the server hooked up to surplus V-Dub engines? Again, VW may be the sponsor of the website, but how does it power the website? A local radio station here has commercials for a new online car shopping site that is also powered by something other than's powered by CBS Radio? WTF? How does an entertainment/communications/media conglomerate power a car buying website? It doesn't. Just say it's sponsored by CBS Radio. There are countless more examples, each one chipping away at my sanity a little bit.

2. If my beloved Flyers finish as the worst team in the NHL, how do they manage to only get the second pick in the draft?
I know the mechanics, I know how the lottery works, I knew the percentages going in and I know that the 2007 Entry Draft Class is not on par with recent years. I know all of this and more. But still, how does the worst overall team not have a 99.999% chance of getting the first pick? Again, I understand the notion that certain teams may tank games at the end of the season to grab a better pick, but so what? If a team is in a position to even be able to tank at the end for the sake of a better pick, then obviously the season didn't really go as well as planned, eh? So giving every non-playoff team a chance to move up five spots isn't really going to make much of a difference. Take away the lottery and a team isn't going to go out and play poorly just to draft first overall. Maybe when the season is mathematically headed for the outhouse they won't play as hard, but they will continue to call up minor leaguers and sign their Major Junior prospects whose teams missed the playoffs to give them some exposure to the AHL or the NHL. This always helps a team to some extra L's as the season winds down. And don't give me the league makes money off the lottery like the NBA argument. The NHL lottery is held behind closed doors at league headquarters.

First Overall Pick, Hockey-Hair Draft, 1989

3. How does John Mayer = alternative music?

My musical tastes range pretty far and wide. Mostly I listen to a few tried and true artists and groups (The Beatles, BNL, DMB, Elvis Costello, Bowie, U2) and one radio station (WXPN 88.5...holla) for my musical needs but I do enjoy the occasional country-jazz-rap-classical fusion song. In the car I enjoy the so-called "shock jocks" (O&A, Kidd Chris), but during their interminable commercials I tend to float a bit on the dial. I usually hit XPN and then move on if it's not doing it for me. I saw a billboard for something called "Skin Radio" on 1340 AM in my local broadcast area. This is supposedly "alternative music." During commercial breaks in the talk shows listed above I checked this station out. According to them alternative radio is "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden circa 1994, "Everything Zen" by Bush circa (oddly enough) 1994 and....John Mayer's latest assault on the eardrums. And it's in full specturm, high-fidelty AM sound! Can music peddlers please never say the term alternative again? Needless to say my AM dial will only be used for news, baseball and hockey broadcasts from here on out.

I swear this came up in a Google Image Search for "John Mayer"

4. Why do people feel the need to post rants on blogs? I mean, who really cares?

Hmm. Got me there.

1 comment:

FFSweaty Irishman said...

Jewbacca, I couldn't Jessica Simpson's boobs with you more! I mean, why does Jessica Simpson's boobs have to have Jessica Simpson's boobs anyway! And the NHL draft? What a Jessica Simpson's boobs that is! The Jessica Simpson's boobs have their worst season ever and the only end up with the Jessica Simpson's boobs in the draft. Good stuff. I Jessica Simpson's boobs more in the future! Boobs.