Sunday, April 1, 2007

Correspondent Challenge No. 1: Dunkin' Donuts vs. Waffle House





Folks, you've waited long enough. We turned the hose on SHAMALAMA and pissah, spackled the holes in the walls, paid off the landlord to ignore the burn marks on the ceiling and found most of their teeth.

Of course, if you've been paying attention, you may notice that this is actually supposed to be Number 4, but this is our place and we make the rules. So Number 4 is now Number 1. Deal.

Here is the answer given by Mr. SHAMALAMA:

Pitting these two behemoths of the perpetual breakfast together is alot like
pitting Michael Jordan vs. Dan Marino. In their own class they are tops. Can't they co-exist? Why all the fighting all the time. But the question is Dunkin'
Donuts vs. Waffle House? So I must not disobey the words.

If you want a good cup of coffee, a nice pastry-like device I'm told is a donut, and a great grammatical use of the contraction, Dunkin' is the place to go.

However, if you want that pastry-like device and coffee covered , diced, smothered, festered, withered, and otherwise loaded down with 18 different types of cholesterol (and no WAITRESS, I DO NOT WANT THE DAMN RANCH DRESSING FOR MY HASH BROWNS NO MATTER IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, SO QUIT ASKING ME!) go no further then your next highway exit.

If I had to choose though I'd pick Dunkin' Donuts because every Waffle House looks like it hasn't been renovated since 1973. And the Ranch Dressing incident of 2003. Sorry waitress YOU BLEW IT HARD!!


And here is the retort from the_undercover_pissah:

I can take a casual walk from my house to 5 Dunkin Donuts shops.

Folks, this may be too close to call. We've run the punchcards through the ENIAC and it appears that it's not actually an ENIAC but several refrigerator boxes with buttons drawn on in magic marker.

Pick the winner in the comments....WHOSE CUISINE REIGNS SUPREME????


6 comments:

Shamalama said...

I win! HA HA HA! I'd like to thank the Big Man Himself...
Shaquille O' Neal, for making me realize that my dreams, whether they be a Detective for the Miami Police or correspondent for the Friendly Friends, can come true!

FFMatt said...

Stale(food)mate 2007 Update: I will run the punch cards through Box the Robot and not only will you have a definitive answer as to who the winner is but you'll hear hilarious synth moaning noises from Box as you insert the cards anywhere you please. This is funny because robots have no souls so their feelings don’t count.

FFJewbacca said...

I think Box would like that.

Anonymous said...

i like donuts.

FFSweaty Irishman said...

Shamalama wins. Lets get Pissah angry...I like him when he's angry.

FFJewbacca said...

Getting Pissah angry is like poking a caged lion wth a cattle prod. You always get the horns.