Wednesday, October 29, 2008

All for One, Man

Phinally. It was meant to be.

I asked my wife earlier if she minded if I get out with my fellow FF’s for the win I knew was coming. I was torn. We watched the season together.

I could tell she wanted me to go but needed me to stay. I didn’t know why.

Then the Phils did it.

After we pulled the kids out of bed and made them almost-shaken babies, after I ran 4 blocks, called my FF’s and almost died high-fiving SUV’s full of fans I came home to my family and my wife and celebrated. Then she mentioned her Uncle Mike.

My wife’s Uncle Mike lives in Florida. He moved there years ago. He loves the Phils and was at game two flying Philadelphia red. When they lost he said, “Christ, can’t I see them win before I die?!?”

Val’s Uncle Mike has months to live. He fought his cancer for years and recently it has spread to many of his organs. Tonight, Uncle Mike on the phone: “I’ve seen the Phillies win the world series… I can die in peace.”

I’m happy for our team, our city and what the win does for all of us.

But I’m most happy to know that this means so many things for one good guy.

So this win is all for you Mike... all for one man.


As Larry Anderson would say, "There are no words."

My identity as a Philadelphian has been shattered.

The Curse of Billy Penn is over.

Sweaty and I just exorcised the demons of 1993. We sat there in horrified silence in 1993 and we just ran around Glenside with champagne in 2008.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Something to Watch While You Wait For Wednesday Night

Since I'm in a pretty black mood today anyway thanks to Bud Selig and his idiocy, AND we have to wait until at least Wednesday (baseball in 32 degree weather with 20 MPH winds!!) to watch the rest of Game 5, here is a brief diversion for your enjoyment.

Anyone that knows me knows that I dislike a lot of things. The list is too long to mention and grows every single day.

At the top of that list?

Sideline Reporters.

Ken Rosenthal and his awfulness come to mind immediately. I've never heard anyone that talked any slower and more dramatically about every....single....thing that popped into his mind. I pray for Ryan Howard to literally take a bite out of his head during their post game interviews

Why do they exist? Why do they waste my time with ridiculous "insights" and views on the game I'm watching. Especially really obvious ones like, "I talked to Coach X and he feels that his team needs to perform better in the second half. I talked to Coach Y and he feels that his team performed well in the first half and needs to keep their intensity up for the second half."

No f'in crap.

Here is a clip, from one of my favorites, With Leather, that shows exactly how useless, pointless and mind numbingly stupid sideline reporters are:

Seriously? You could have fact checked that in about a millisecond, seeing how Bill Walsh is dead and all.

A Brief Review of Game 5 So Far...

We here in Philly have been waiting 25 years for a national championship of some importance (sorry Wings, Phantoms, Kixx and Soul), a championship that would kick off a celebration of epic proportions and a parade to be remembered for the ages.

And the fact that the local NBA team won the last championship in this city means that for some of us we've been waiting at least 28 years. I don't count the NBA as a sport, so that 1983 championship actually ranks lower than any of the recent ones won by the Wings, Phantoms, Kixx and/or Soul.

So how are we repaid by the baseball gods?

With this moron and his merry band of idiots in blue.

I understand the suspension of the game. I truly do. I don't argue with it. And had the Phillies still been up on the Rays and Selig decided to suspend the game at the start of the 6th, and NOT declare it a Phillies' win even though it was technically an official game, I would have been fine with that. A World Series should not be decided in a rain-shortened game.

But to make either team take the field or come up to bat in the sixth inning? One of the worst overall decisions I have ever, EVER seen.

Way to go Bud. You knew it was going to rain all night and you still let this game be played. You didn't stop it when the rains became torrential. You are an idiot.

So now instead of being a man, standing up to Fox and calling off the game before it started you've potentially ruined a World Series for the fans. And not just Phillies fans. All baseball fans.

As Sweaty (who is probably still too angry to see straight) commented to me earlier in an email: "This is exactly how I envisioned a World Championship moment going."

I hope Bud is thinking to himself right now that this situation is SO much better than just playing a postponed-from-the-start Game 5 on Wednesday or Thursday.

Friday, October 24, 2008

A Question to Our Readership

Can someone please explain to me why FOX had no less than 10 cutaways to Maddon in the dugout during the 9th? Sweaty and I had 1210 on to avoid being infected with Tampa Fever by having unprotected aural with Joe Buck so we had no idea why they felt the need to show the manager of the Rays at least 10 times. In a half inning.

A Review of Game Two in One Word


Thursday, October 23, 2008

Know Thine Enemy...And Mock Him

Say what you want about Phillies fans and the City of Brotherly Love, but here are two things this town would never, ever, EVER do:

1. Print a "Baseball Primer" on the local news website. Seriously. Check it out. It contains such highlights as:

DOUBLE PLAY: A routine but difficult play in which the defense gets two outs with one pitch.


UP THE MIDDLE: A ball hit back past the pitcher, over second base and into center field.

This is the fan base of the media darlings? Isn't baseball supposed to be our official past time here in America? Did a large contingent of Lost Tribes of the Amazon choose Tampa for their annual convention?

No wonder they bring cowbells and have blue mohawks. I can't take looking at these misfits any more, and it's been one game!

2. This:

As [Lidge] warmed up before the bottom of the ninth, the scoreboard showed a montage of film clips to rile up the fans. It ended with a snippet of Sylvester Stallone in a sweat suit, thrusting his arms to the sky at the top of the art museum steps in Philadelphia.

If the Phillies needed another positive omen — as if surviving 13 hitless at-bats with runners in scoring position were not enough — there it was. Lidge retired the side in order to end the game.

Sweet Mary on a pogo stick. Game one of the World Series was played in Tampa. In that abortion of a stadium. Against the PHILADELPHIA Phillies. And they used a clip...from Rocky...showing Stallone at the top of the fire up...the....RAYS?

There are no words.

[Tip of the Hat to The 700 Level, Philly's finest sports blog]

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Game 1 World Series: 8:18 PM

Two observations:

1. The Glory soundtrack by James Horner was a nice touch to the WS preamble featuring McCain and Obama. How true it is. Foreshadow much?
2. The fucking cowbells are worse than New Kids on the Block. During the Rays intro it sounded like a whole stadium's worth of contestants were spinning on Wheel of Fortune. I couldn't blast Stevie Wonder any louder and I still want a zombie outbreak in Tampa.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Definitive 1000

We are going to be counting down the Definitive 1000 things. Why are they Definitive? Because The Friendly Friends have deemed them as such.

966 - The World Series

As I sit here on the eve of the Phillies' fourth trip to the World Series in my lifetime I began to reflect on the various feelings that the previous three brought:

1980 - I was 5. I'm sure a nice time was had by all. All I remember is there was suddenly a lot of Phillies stuff in my room

1983 - I was 8. I don't really remember much from being 8. I do remember that my organized baseball playing career came to an abrupt end when a grounder hit a rock in the infield and ended up hitting me full on in the mouth during t-ball tryouts.

1993 - I was 18. The entire 1993 season is one of my all-time favorite sports memories. Up to the final pitch of the 1993 season that is. I will never forget the total feeling of utter helplessness and despair when what happened, happened.

And this year:

2008 - I am 33. I don't know what's going to happen over the next week or so but I can say that I enjoyed the season so far. Not in the same way as 1993, since I'm no longer a slacker college student and I have a few more responsibilities now. And going in to the World Series I have a strange sense of calm. Excited, but calm.

One thing I do love about the Phillies being in the World Series is that it seems to have created an instant sense and feeling of camaraderie and friendship between people who wouldn't normally have the time of day for each other. Plus most conversations are about the Phils and the rotation and who's the DH going to be and how awful the Tropicana Dome is and how great it is that the city isn't putting any Phils garb on William Penn and how great the Phillies' sweep will be (note to the baseball gods, I don't agree with this sentiment so this is not a jinx statement) and where are we going to watch and what excuse will you use for work for the parade?

It's a nice feeling to have. We don't have a whole lot to agree on these days (see the previous post for more on this). And for this reason I hereby enshrine The World Series in the Definitive 1000.

Perhaps a World Series win will come in at #965??

For getting through all of this, may I present a hot Phillies girl, courtesy of
the fine folks at We Hate to Lose

Are YOU a Real American?

I came home this evening to find out from Mrs. Jewbacca that we are NOT real Americans.

See, we are registered Independents since neither of us identify enough with either party to say we're a "D" or an "R." Couple that with the fact that we tend to lean toward the Democratic side of things AND the fact that in most peoples' minds Democrat=Liberal and you get this from

A North Carolina congressman locked in a tight re-election race admitted Tuesday to recently telling a crowd of John McCain supporters that "liberals hate real Americans," the latest in a string of comments from Republicans that appear to question Democrats' patriotism.

Ergo, we are not real Americans. There is no hope for us.

I guess our home ownership, our taxpaying history, the fact that we both work very hard at our jobs (another jab at "liberals" is that they don't have jobs where they have to work hard), our service to our community, our charitable donations and our American flag constantly waving from our front porch is not enough for some people. Oh well.

But here as a Friendly Friend public service is a quick quiz you can take to determine if you are a REAL American:

So how'd you all score? Any sudden ex-pats out there who want to gather in the local ex-American bar and watch the Phillies?

Thursday, October 16, 2008

My Zombuddy David

I'm so proud. One of my best friends made the Colbert Report. Check it out: That zombie pic? That's my boy David. He was a groomsman in my wedding. We go way back. We did all sorts of crazy things together, alive-things.

Apparently this image was sold as photostock and made it all the way to the big time.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


Fifteen years ago I was a young buck freshman at the University of Delaware. We all packed into some guy's room in our dorm to watch the Phils take the NLCS from the hated Braves.

Our RA let us run wild for a while to celebrate. We took him up on it, pounding on all the doors in the dorm and then running outside to whoop it up.

What did I do tonight?

Enjoyed Harry the K on the radio coverage, wondered how those two Phillies Phans got seats behind home plate, thanked the heavens that there would be no more Manny talk this post season, quietly savored the victory. Woke up the Missus to let her know the news.

But I'm no less happy, just fifteen years older and a responsible member of society.

Should the Phillies break the 25 year curse in my fair city? That's an entirely different story. With the Eagles doing their usual mind-smashingly best to ruin my winter and the Flyers off to a 0-2-1 start, I can't be responsible for my actions should a parade occur here.

And this post? Finished and saved as a draft at 10:57 p.m. Sweaty might kill me for nearly jinxing the whole thing.

UPDATE: Thanks to The 700 Level you can now enjoy the final out the way it was meant to be...with Harry Kalas and a somehow not as annoying as usual Wheeler:

Friday, October 10, 2008

NLCS Game 2 "Live Picturebook"

First off, The Friendly Friends would like to extend our deepest condolences to Charlie Manuel and his family.

Second off, stay tuned for one Friendly Friend's attempt to convey his deepest feelings through easy to understand pictures as the Phils battle the Dodgers in Game 2 of the NLCS:

Mid First Inning

Are you kidding me? Three up three down is about as good as we could hope for. Looks like Myers is on...

End First

It's half-full,'s half-full...

Mid Second

Good damage control by Myers, one run isn't a problem....right?

End Two

Myers for MVP of everything!

Mid Third

Serious Myers can still have MVP?

End Third

loldog, happy dog, dog playing in the grass, cute dog picture

Three RBI??? You can absolutely keep that MVP.

Mid Fourth

There go the three RBI...thanks Ruiz!

End Fourth

Interesting stat during that inning...Ryan Howard is 2 for 17 with 1 run and 1 RBI in the postseason. Brett Myers is 4 for 5 with 3 runs and 3 RBI.

Mid Fifth

Just cruising along...

End Fifth

This Ryan Howard is only two hits behind the Phillies' Ryan Howard this post-season...

Mid Sixth

Thanks Durbin...

End Sixth

Not sure if 3 runs will be enough...

Mid Seventh

For the catch...

For the song...

End Seventh

I'm worried too Julie. They're getting hit a little too much...

Mid Eighth

Three up, three down for Madson...

End Eighth

Lidge, Lidge, Lidge, Lidge, Lidge...

Mid Ninth

THANKTHEEVERLOVINGLORD!!!! Can't the Phillies do anything easy???

As always the flower pics are from Mrs. Jewbacca's garden...

Thursday, October 9, 2008

A Not So Obvious Reason Why DVR Is Awesome

Through the magic of my newly acquired DVR I was able to pause my live TV long enough to let The Big Talker 1210's coverage of the Phillies game tonight catch up.

What does this mean? I've been listening to Larry Andersen, Scott Franzke, Harry Kalas and the other guy the whole game.


There's no way Joe Buck or whatever soul crushing, brain numbing Fox stuffed shirt had the same level of joy in his voice. And I'm also sure that they were able to work at least 4 Manny references into the HR call....

AWESOME UPDATE: PHILLIES WIN!! 3-2. If I had been listening to the Fox coverage I would have missed Larry's yells of joy after the final strikeout!