Wednesday, May 9, 2007

The Definitive 1000

We are going to be counting down the Definitive 1000 things. Why are they Definitive? Because The Friendly Friends have deemed them as such.

#992 - Buffalo Wings

Notice the distinct lack of celery.

I realize that the Sweaty Irishman just added the turkey club at #993, but I had to continue on the food track with this entry. And the food that I choose to put on here at #992 is the humble buffalo wing.

And I basically mean buffalo wings in any form. There was a place in Newark, DE that made the "Buffalo Bill." This was a sandwich that was a chicken cheese steak smothered in buffalo wing sauce, American cheese, onions and blue cheese. The also served "Buffalo Chips" which was a big basket of french fires smothered in buffalo wing sauce and blue cheese. Combine the two (with a vanilla milkshake to wash it all down) and you have a heart-stoppingly terrific meal.

And none other than The Sweaty Irishman makes a mean buffalo chicken dip. Perhaps we can persuade him to leave the recipe in the comments, but believe you me, it is the best.

The buffalo wing and its close cousins are perhaps the finest food. The combination of wing sauce and blue cheese is at least as good as chocolate and peanut butter or whiskey and soda or sugar and spice. The hot sauce cooled by the chunky blue cheese is magical.

My only complaint is the celery. Please leave the celery out of this. Celery is perhaps the worst vegetable (next to mushrooms) on the planet. There is no need for celery on a plate of wings.

"Sugar and Spice." Duh.

Nothing beats ordering a mess of wings and devouring them during an Eagles or Flyers game. I have passed many hours of my life in such a pursuit and hope to pass many more that way. Or finding a bar with ten cent wings. There used to be one near the Friendly Friends, but with inflation running rampant, I think they are up to thirty-five cents a wing.

We are graced enough to live in and around the city that brings the world the annual Wing Bowl, a yearly debauch including scantily clad women amongst the wings.

Who wants to go to the Super Bowl when you have the Wing Bowl every year?

Of course, you do need to keep an eye out for what I like to call the "drumstick stealer." These are those lazy a-holes that will only eat the drumstick part of the wing. The proper method to deal with these people is to throw the sauce from the bottom of the container into their eyes. That is the only recourse. These people should not be allowed to eat wings with the rest of us. They should only be allowed to pick through the trash plate for bits of cartilage.

Buffalo wings. Now I'm hungry.

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