Tuesday, May 1, 2007

A Treat For Our Readers....

As the title of this post implies, The Friendly Friends have a special treat for you, since you've been so good today. We have a guest movie reviewer offering his insight into one of American Cinema's finest displays of the filmmaker's craft.

What big name was the Friends able to snag for this assignment? Roger Ebert? David Edelstein? Leonard Maltin? Pauline Kael?

No. We here at The Friendly Friends live by a simple motto: If you're gonna go, go big. So we went big.

Presenting The Mighty Malagan's review of Police Academy 5:

Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach

As you sit back and ponder the all time great movies in American film history, I am sure a few come to mind rather quickly. Among them may be Casablanca, Gone with the Wind, The Godfather, Citizen Kane, and even the Star Wars Trilogy. Well, that list should and must be expanded by one. As I write this testimonial to the wonders of police hi jinks, I can’t help but appreciate perfection. As the “film” begins, Commandant (what the hell is that anyway) Lassard is announcing his retirement. At this point, the whole police force of the fake city is told they are heading to Miami Beach to attend a ceremony at which Lassard will be given a lifetime achievement award. Oh, and to no doubt cause some major chaos!!! What follows in the next 90 minutes or so cannot be described in words. To avoid losing this audience, I will not go into plot details, and the many twists that occur, instead I will focus on a few of the many wonders from this piece of movie making history.

• From the scene in the Miami airport you’ll view a golf bag that has a handle to allow balls to drop from the bottom. Unreal special effects. What do you expect when you have no budget?
• Pre-gambling Janet Jones. Need I say more?

• Matt McCoy before the days of Lloyd Braun, as Nick Lassard, the overconfident and somewhat cocky nephew of Commandant Lassard.

• The predictable, but well executed suitcase mishap. Lassard picked up the wrong one.
• Stereotypical bumbling jewel thieves who may actual be the most inept I have ever seen.
• Tackleberry, Thaddeus Harris, Proctor!!!!, and Jones, the noise making machine.

• A high speed chase aboard big jet ski boat thingy’s, that splash just enough water to merit the wet t-shirt shots of Callahan.

I could write all day, but unfortunately I am not allotted the space I need, or deserve. This movie was full of plot twists, and edge of your seat excitement. And it offers one of the most famous quotes of all time, “Give me, my damn cameraaaaaaaa!”

Makes you proud to be an American, don't it?

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