I Was Right

I'm filled with Spaghetti-O's of course... Spaghetti-O's with franks.

I love being right. July 2007 I predicted that Iron Man would rock. I was right.

This past Saturday the wife and I headed out for a rare kidless Saturday night. We got our loan for the tickets cosigned and we took our seats in steerage, er, stadium seating.


Coming from Mrs. FFMatt, who cares little for superheroes or Robert Downey Jr.: Iron Man was impressive, mostly because it didn’t feel much like a superhero movie. There was adventure. There was enough plot. Effects were great. People laughed and seemed to care for the characters.

My wife asked questions about back story and about the thing that happened after the credits. That impressed me most since she wasn’t just trying to get into my pants after 8 years of marriage, she actually wanted to know more. About a superhero movie.


Four thumbs up from my matrimonial franchise. Go see Iron Man.

Celebrities That Probably Smell

In this segment we propose that celebrities stink... and how.

Wilford: Once cut a man that called him "playa."

In 1985 the word “Emmy” meant little to little me but Ewoks… there’s a slice of fried gold to a Star Wars pup. The Battle for Endor was a TV movie starring Wilford Brimley that actually received nominations and an Emmy. But why fried gold? Because of Ewoks. Where you have Ewoks you have bad guys (one opinion) and they strive to kill all Ewoks. So this movie had me at “kill Ewoks,” as I’m behind that as a rule.

And then there was Wilford.

Fuzzy. Primal. Short tempered. Fur-bearing. Armed. Lives in trees. I don’t know if I’m referring to Ewoks or Wilford but I know this much: all apply to both.

Even simmering midgets in Muppet Lab suits filming in a Redwood forest, living on scale and Gatorade would be hard pressed to exceed what I imagine Wilford can do to a fresh breeze.

He must be a contradiction of wafting scents… a grouchy stew of opium smoke, oatmeal and a wet falcon’s nest.

Wilford Brimley crosses the barrier of fact and assails me with a perceived aroma that has never happened to me but must be true: a crotchety old giant among small space bears, a Celebrity… that Probably Smells.

A Treat For Our Readers....

As the title of this post implies, The Friendly Friends have a special treat for you, since you've been so good today. We have a guest movie reviewer offering his insight into one of American Cinema's finest displays of the filmmaker's craft.

What big name was the Friends able to snag for this assignment? Roger Ebert? David Edelstein? Leonard Maltin? Pauline Kael?

No. We here at The Friendly Friends live by a simple motto: If you're gonna go, go big. So we went big.




Presenting The Mighty Malagan's review of Police Academy 5:

Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach

As you sit back and ponder the all time great movies in American film history, I am sure a few come to mind rather quickly. Among them may be Casablanca, Gone with the Wind, The Godfather, Citizen Kane, and even the Star Wars Trilogy. Well, that list should and must be expanded by one. As I write this testimonial to the wonders of police hi jinks, I can’t help but appreciate perfection. As the “film” begins, Commandant (what the hell is that anyway) Lassard is announcing his retirement. At this point, the whole police force of the fake city is told they are heading to Miami Beach to attend a ceremony at which Lassard will be given a lifetime achievement award. Oh, and to no doubt cause some major chaos!!! What follows in the next 90 minutes or so cannot be described in words. To avoid losing this audience, I will not go into plot details, and the many twists that occur, instead I will focus on a few of the many wonders from this piece of movie making history.

• From the scene in the Miami airport you’ll view a golf bag that has a handle to allow balls to drop from the bottom. Unreal special effects. What do you expect when you have no budget?
• Pre-gambling Janet Jones. Need I say more?

• Matt McCoy before the days of Lloyd Braun, as Nick Lassard, the overconfident and somewhat cocky nephew of Commandant Lassard.

• The predictable, but well executed suitcase mishap. Lassard picked up the wrong one.
• Stereotypical bumbling jewel thieves who may actual be the most inept I have ever seen.
• Tackleberry, Thaddeus Harris, Proctor!!!!, and Jones, the noise making machine.

• A high speed chase aboard big jet ski boat thingy’s, that splash just enough water to merit the wet t-shirt shots of Callahan.

I could write all day, but unfortunately I am not allotted the space I need, or deserve. This movie was full of plot twists, and edge of your seat excitement. And it offers one of the most famous quotes of all time, “Give me, my damn cameraaaaaaaa!”

Makes you proud to be an American, don't it?