Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The Definitive 1000

We are going to be counting down the Definitive 1000 things. Why are they Definitive? Because The Friendly Friends have deemed them as such.

964 - The Wanamaker Christmas Light Show

The Magic Tree in front of the not-yet-begun Light Show

Odd that I, Jewbacca, would be in charge of enshrining the Wanamaker Christmas Light Show in the Definitive 1000.

But it is truly one of my favorite things in the world.

First, a quick digression.

As some of you know, the wonderful succubusses people at that little mom and pop operation known as Comcast have built the tallest building in Philly. The lobby of this place has a gigantic LCD screen that displays various entertainments for the people passing through. It is a really, really cool TV screen.

All of that is an LCD screen. Above the bottom two rows of wood panels is actual video footage.

And that's about it. The Holiday Spectacular is being hyped as some sort of must-do Christmas event for Philadelphians.

Well, let me tell you, myself and Mrs. Jewbacca visited this "attraction" last night and were very greatly disappointed. I won't bore you with the details, since I was bored for 15 minutes with the details last night. As we walked out all I could say was that the screen was really, really cool.

CGI bulbs are no match for the real thing...

Which brings me to the latest addition to the D1000.

Everything that the Comcast show lacks is embodied in the 23,500 LEDs on the Magic Christmas Tree and in the instantly recognizable narration from Julie Andrews (though nowhere as awesome as the original provided by the Voice of God and NFL Films John Facenda) and in the 288,000 watts of energy used during the finale, pictured below...

The finale. The Light Show is a 15 minute animated trip through Christmas. It is 50+ years old and it is still awesome. That thing is like nine stories tall.

The Comcast show was no different than watching TV at someone's house. The Light Show is the Light Show. It's a bunch of figures made of lights built in 1955 that tell the story of the Nutcracker, Rudolph, Frosty, a magic sleigh ride through the sky and a train ride with Santa himself. No tricky camera angles, no computer aided editing, no CGI.

Hokey? Yes. Simplistic? Yes. Lo-tech? Yes.

And that's why it's insanely awesome every single year.

I watched the audience at both. The kids at Comcast looked like they were watching TV. They looked hollow and bored. The kids at Macy's watching the Light Show couldn't stop singing along. They couldn't stop exclaiming how cool things were to their parents. They couldn't stop gasping with excitement.

If that's not a ringing endorsement of the old-fashioned Light Show (albeit with LEDs now) I don't know what is. Other than this 33 year old Philadelphia kid giving it his seal of approval by enshrining it in the Definitive 1000.

Merry Christmas.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

To all my phellow phans...

I have been writing this post and editing and adding and deleting since the Philadelphia Phillies made the World Series 2 days before my birthday on October 15th. I had started to think I would split this into a couple posts, but I have decided to make this one long post with a few sections. So strap yourself in Friendly Friends! Here is Sweaty Irishman's thoughts his baseball team. The Philadelphia Phillies.

I think I will start with a little history on the losingest franchise in professional sports history. As many of you know, the Philies are one of the oldest franchises in baseball. Their first season was 1883. Chester A. Arthur was president. The first machine gun was invented and Karl Marx died. At least half of my family was still living in Ireland at that time and cared more about defeating the tyrannical British then the Cincinnati Redlegs. So anyway...In typical Philadelphia fashion, it took the Phillies 32 years to make it's first World Series appearance. The Phillies faced the Boston Redsox in the 1915 World Series. My grandparents were about 2 years old. The Phillies had a 31 game winner named Grover Cleveland Alexander and a good hitter named Gavvy Cravath. Gavvy wore an onion on his belt, which was the style at the time. They faced a very good Redsox team with a very good young rookie pitcher whom they used occasionally as a pinch hitter named George Herman Ruth. In case you couldn't guess...we lost. Oh well...get'em next year, right boys? Wrong!

35 years later... the Phillies got to their second World Series! My parents were about 2 years old. The 1950 Philadelphia Phillies aka the Whiz Kids, were a bunch of young up and comers including a couple future hall of famers Robin Roberts and Richie Ashburn. Whitey of course would go on to earn the love and respect of a second and third generation of Philadelphians as the best color announcer ever. (Side note: My favorite Whitey moments as a color guy was when the answer to the daily trivia question was himself) That team had to face none other then the New York Yankees. They were nothing special. They had mediocre players such as Whitey Ford, Yogi Berra and Joe DiMaggio. The Phillies gave it all they had, but got swept. Although 3 of the games were decided by one run. So, to keep up, that is 67 years of existence, 2 World Series appearances and no championships. Oh well, get 'em next year right? I mean this was a young team with good players and no free agency! Things were looking up!

30 years later...The Phillies make there third ever World Series. I was 6 years old, but in no way cared about baseball. I was more concerned with Empire Strikes Back or being allowed to cross the street by myself. This is were things changed for the Phillies. Mike Schmidt, Pete Rose, Steve Carlton, Tug McGraw, Garry Maddox, Greg Luzinski and Larry Bowa were members of the first ever World Series Champion Philadelphia Phillies! This was a golden age of sports in our town. 1980 saw the Phillies in the series, the Eagles in the Superbowl, the Sixers in the finals and the Flyers playing for the Stanley Cup. The Phillies took home the crown and 97 years of frustration was released! If only I was old enough to remember! I can't remember a parade, but I do remember that I was Donald Duck for Halloween!

In a shocker, the Phillies made the World Series just 3 years after that in 1983! This team, known as the Wheeze kids were kind of unexpected. Many of the 1980 players like Luzinski were gone, many more were past their prime like Rose and Carlton. We added a few very veteran players like Joe Morgan. We also added Gary (Sarge) Matthews Sr. A man, like Whitey who is now a color guy for the team and although started out a little sloppy is starting to endear himself to the masses with his critical commentating on the Phillies. Philly fans respect someone who is not a yes man. Wheeler, I am looking at you! By the way, Wheeler is NOT a tremendous athlete! Ok, back to the team...they faced the Baltimore Orioles. A young team with the likes of Cal Ripken, Eddie Murray and others. We lost in 5 games. I was 9 and still did not care much about baseball. At the time of this series I was wondering why my parents were packing us up and moving us to South Jersey. At this time I lived about 100 steps from FFMatt, so it was a cruel move in many ways. Oh well. I do credit this move with finally getting me into all sports. What the heck else was I going to do in South Jersey? So...1984 was the first year I truly cared about Philadelphia teams. I was a 4 for 4 kid too. The Phillies and Mike Schmidt. The Eagles and Randall Cunningham. The Flyers and Tim Kerr. The Sixers and Charles Barkley. Unfortunately for me, 1984 was the start of our supposed curse. One Liberty Place was erected, Billy Penn was in the shadows, and I had to be proud of rooting for a team that led the league in sacrifice bunts.

Even with the great players mentioned above, no championships were to be had. The Flyers came close, but lost to a juggernaut in the Oilers. The Sixers never found someone to compliment Barkley. I liked Mike Gminski as much as the next guy, but all he had was the G-Man jumper! Eagles always had dominating defenses and pathetic offenses. The Eagles of the late 80's & early 90's were much like Craig in the movie Friday. They had peanut butter and no jelly. Ham but no burger. Kool-aid but no sugar. Defense but no offense. So we wasted one of the greatest defensive teams ever assembled and along with a foggy day in Chicago, never even reached the big one.

1990 brought me back to the Common Wealth. I united with Jewbacca shortly thereafter and we met almost nightly to watch one of our teams fail. Sometimes FFMatt was there. Sometimes Malagan was there. The cast changed, the results remained the same...until 1993. Our senior year in high school something magical happened. A bunch of white trash looking quasi-athletes were put together that I think might have inspired the movie Major League. Some of them had talent, such as Daulton, Dykstra and Schilling. Some of that talent was "enhanced". We had pure hitters like Kruk and Milt Thompson, and a bunch of guys who all had career years at the same time. Pete Incavilia, Wes Chamberlain, Terry Mulholland, Mitch Williams, Kevin Stocker, the list goes on. So, we are 18 and the Phillies have the greatest season we had ever seen as sports fans. They beat the vaunted Braves to win the pennant and make the World Series. Most of us know what happened after that. Jewbacca came home from his freshman year at UD to watch at home with me and Malagan and a few others. Game 6. Looking good. Malagan utters something never to be repeated and we lose. Jewbacca and I go bowl the greatest games of our lives. I still have not seen a replay of that home run.

So that is it right? That as close as we had come to that point? We still had no idea what it was like to win a championship! To go to a parade! To hug a stranger! The Flyers looked close in 97, swept! The Sixers had no shot in 2001, but I had lost my interest in basketball when Barkley left so even if they had won I would not have counted it. 2004 The Eagles make it to the SuperBowl! We didn't know what to do with ourselves! Until they lost in embarrassing fashion...we knew exactly what to do with ourselves then.

Alas, will we never know? Will we never rejoice? We we never know what it feels like to puff out that chest and proclaim to our hated rivals in New York, or Dallas, or D.C. or Florida and say...WE ARE THE BEST! It did not seem so. The Friendly Friends had been dedicated sports fans for over two decades with no payoff. Our identity had been forged by the Lance Parrish's and Siran Stacey's. The Joe Carter's and Jon Gruden's. We had had enough!

Who knew something unforgettable and so unexpected was just around the corner. The Philadelphia Phillies seemed to turn a corner around 2000. An uncommon occurrence began. Young players from our system started to be called up and they looked like real players! At first Scott Rolen. A perennial gold glover and a solid offensive third baseman. Do we have a chance?!?!?! No, he wanted out, hated Philly and went to "Baseball Heaven". Back to square one. Then Pat Burrell showed up. Lots of power, lots of promise, lots of slumps. He wouldn't be enough. Jimmy Rollins shows up. Lots of speed, lots of glove, lots of first pitch swings and pop-ups! These two guys are pretty good, but so frustrating and surrounded by pitchers like Bruce Chen. Then this guy Chase Utley comes up and hits a grand slam for his first major league hit...hmmm, that gets your attention. We sign Jim Thome. Wow! New ballpark...bigger WOW! Brett Myers shows up, promising, volitile, scary? Thome has to go, because we have another prospect at 1st? Ryan Howard? Rookie of the year? MVP? What is going on here?!?! But cast, more talent, same results. Finish 1 game out, 3 games out, 1 game out...never closing the deal. Jamie Moyer joins the fold, Cole Hamels comes up, Victorino comes, it would be ashamed to waist all this young talent.

Mets collapse in 2007! Bull $hit! We beat them 10 straight, we EARNED that division! We were the hottest team in baseball going into the post season right? Wrong! Those Colorado Rockies, winners of 23 of 24 sweep the hell out of us in the first round! As my brother in-law said...we got Matsuied! At this point we are just about checked out as sports fans. We can't win it with this talent, we never will. The Eagles are on the decline, the Flyers can't adjust to the new rules, who gives a crap about the other team.

In comes 2008. The Phillies made a couple moves. They traded for a closer from the Astros who might have been a headcase after an Albert Pujols homer in the playoffs a few years before. He had lost something. But we needed arms and that put Myers back in the rotation. We had some hope. We were defending division champs after all! Things start well! Burrell and Utley are crushing the ball. Pitching is good. Howard is awful. We spent a majority of time in or around first all season. Howard goes in and out of slumps and has the quietest 48 hr 146 rbi season of all time. September rolls around and on September 17th we are 4 games out in the wildcard and 3.5 back in the division. We have them right where we want them! The Phillies go on to overtake everyone and finish with the second best record in the NL! Oh My! Victorino hits a slam off of C.C. "Cy Young" Sabathia! Oh Wow! We handle the Brewers with ease! Now onto the Los Angeles Manny's, I mean Dodgers. Cole Hamels, dominant. Matt Freakin' Stairs! Is this fun or what? We take care of the Dodgers with little trouble. Holy Crap! We are in the World Series! How did this happen?

We are facing the Tampa Bay Rays? Really? Well...I guess that made sense. If you look at our past, we had lost to the Red Sox, Yankees, Orioles & Blue Jays in the World Series. The only AL East team who hadn't beaten us in the Fall Classic were the Rays, so here we go! We split at Tampa, thanks to Cole. I will take it! Tim McGraw sprinkles some of Tug on the mound at the bank. That move was 2 parts cool, 1 part creepy. We win in walk off fashion in game three! Carlos Ruiz! We win in a yawner in game 4. Ryan Howard wakes up in a big way! Game 5, which took about 72 hours was a squeeker. Like a boxing match. Punch, counter, punch , counter. It set up the most exciting and gratifying three innings of baseball I have ever seen in my life. Geoff Jenkins! 1 hit and he is redeemed! Pat Burrell! Last at bat as a Phillie and he hits a double off of Manny's fence which ends up being the go ahead run! Oh my god! It is the 9th! We are winning! I am with my wife and my son at Jewbacca's house. C ould this be it? How would I handle it? How would I react? I can't think that way! It will jinx them! So in comes that headcase from Houston. Brad Lidge. Mr. Perfect. 41-41 in the regular season. 6-6 in the post season to that point. He was about to try and finish off the greatest single season by a closer in MLB history...or he was about to take another massive shot to his confidence, one I would not blame him for if he didn't recover. Pop Up! 1 away! Oh my god, we are two outs away from not knowing how to react! Base hit! Of course! We are gonna blow it! Screaming line drive with a guy on second! Oh my god! They just tied the game! Wait! It stayed up! Werth makes the catch! The fans cheer! I try and swallow my heart back into my chest! I look at Jewbacca. We both know what we are on the brink of. Mrs. Jewbacca can't look. Mrs. Sweaty is just praying I get to experience what it is like. Murphy is delirious with exhaustion on the couch. I think he just gave me the finger.

Up walks Eric Hinske. Lidge bears down. Called strike one! Fans erupt! Check swing, called strike two! I am shaking. I am nervous. Please god. Please, please, please! Swing and a miss!!!!!! OH MY GOD! I hug Jewbacca! I hug my family! I fall to the ground with tears in my eyes! My phone starts ringing like crazy! I share this once in my lifetime moment with others who have felt it. My brother, my father, my mother, my sister, Pissah, FFMatt. We are jumping around. We grab champagne! We run outside! Fireworks are going off all around us! Cars are honking horns! People are cheering in the streets and banging on pots and pans! Jewbacca and I go running down the street cheering every car! What we have been cheering for and screaming for and paying for for a quarter century has finally happened. The unlikeliest of teams, the Philadelphia Phillies, losingest franchise in professional sports history has just given us a WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What are we going to do now? We have just lost our identity as sports fans, and we couldn't be happier! We are going to a parade!!!!!!!!!!!

Charlie Friggin Manuel!

Everything is coming up roses for sweaty! I got time off. I got tickets to CPB for the festivities! Jewbacca and I meet Malagan and his family at the stadium and watch the parade from the seats! The players arrive. The stands are packed. They parade around, come to the podium to say a few choice words. Some choicer then others if you are Chase F'ing Utley! The banner is raised.

I can finally say...we are World Champions. The city of Philadelphia has finally gotten what it so very much deserved. Harry Kalas finally got to call a last out of a World Series. Jamie Moyer finally won a ring and in his home town. Pat Burrell finishes of a rocky career in style. Jose Reyes is ringless.

I can put away my angst for a couple years at least. I feel like Ralphy with his red rider bee-bee gun.

All is right with the world.

Take a look at some pictures that show why Philly deserved this...thanks to

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Definitive 1000

We are going to be counting down the Definitive 1000 things. Why are they Definitive? Because The Friendly Friends have deemed them as such.

965 - Erin Andrews

I know it might seem odd that I would be making this entry into the Definitive 1000, what with this and all, but rest assured this was not my idea.

I won't argue that she's not hot, but she is still a sideline reporter, and therefore my sworn enemy.

But when the Mighty Malagan sends you this email:

Here’s my entry. Simply stated, just paste the link. Great song too!!! The 1:30 mark sums it all up

You don't argue.

So here is the Mighty Malagan's latest guest post and yet another enshrinement into The Definitive 1000.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Vote you Bastards

Do as the legs say and nobody gets hurt. Unless you are into that.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

All for One, Man

Phinally. It was meant to be.

I asked my wife earlier if she minded if I get out with my fellow FF’s for the win I knew was coming. I was torn. We watched the season together.

I could tell she wanted me to go but needed me to stay. I didn’t know why.

Then the Phils did it.

After we pulled the kids out of bed and made them almost-shaken babies, after I ran 4 blocks, called my FF’s and almost died high-fiving SUV’s full of fans I came home to my family and my wife and celebrated. Then she mentioned her Uncle Mike.

My wife’s Uncle Mike lives in Florida. He moved there years ago. He loves the Phils and was at game two flying Philadelphia red. When they lost he said, “Christ, can’t I see them win before I die?!?”

Val’s Uncle Mike has months to live. He fought his cancer for years and recently it has spread to many of his organs. Tonight, Uncle Mike on the phone: “I’ve seen the Phillies win the world series… I can die in peace.”

I’m happy for our team, our city and what the win does for all of us.

But I’m most happy to know that this means so many things for one good guy.

So this win is all for you Mike... all for one man.


As Larry Anderson would say, "There are no words."

My identity as a Philadelphian has been shattered.

The Curse of Billy Penn is over.

Sweaty and I just exorcised the demons of 1993. We sat there in horrified silence in 1993 and we just ran around Glenside with champagne in 2008.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Something to Watch While You Wait For Wednesday Night

Since I'm in a pretty black mood today anyway thanks to Bud Selig and his idiocy, AND we have to wait until at least Wednesday (baseball in 32 degree weather with 20 MPH winds!!) to watch the rest of Game 5, here is a brief diversion for your enjoyment.

Anyone that knows me knows that I dislike a lot of things. The list is too long to mention and grows every single day.

At the top of that list?

Sideline Reporters.

Ken Rosenthal and his awfulness come to mind immediately. I've never heard anyone that talked any slower and more dramatically about every....single....thing that popped into his mind. I pray for Ryan Howard to literally take a bite out of his head during their post game interviews

Why do they exist? Why do they waste my time with ridiculous "insights" and views on the game I'm watching. Especially really obvious ones like, "I talked to Coach X and he feels that his team needs to perform better in the second half. I talked to Coach Y and he feels that his team performed well in the first half and needs to keep their intensity up for the second half."

No f'in crap.

Here is a clip, from one of my favorites, With Leather, that shows exactly how useless, pointless and mind numbingly stupid sideline reporters are:

Seriously? You could have fact checked that in about a millisecond, seeing how Bill Walsh is dead and all.

A Brief Review of Game 5 So Far...

We here in Philly have been waiting 25 years for a national championship of some importance (sorry Wings, Phantoms, Kixx and Soul), a championship that would kick off a celebration of epic proportions and a parade to be remembered for the ages.

And the fact that the local NBA team won the last championship in this city means that for some of us we've been waiting at least 28 years. I don't count the NBA as a sport, so that 1983 championship actually ranks lower than any of the recent ones won by the Wings, Phantoms, Kixx and/or Soul.

So how are we repaid by the baseball gods?

With this moron and his merry band of idiots in blue.

I understand the suspension of the game. I truly do. I don't argue with it. And had the Phillies still been up on the Rays and Selig decided to suspend the game at the start of the 6th, and NOT declare it a Phillies' win even though it was technically an official game, I would have been fine with that. A World Series should not be decided in a rain-shortened game.

But to make either team take the field or come up to bat in the sixth inning? One of the worst overall decisions I have ever, EVER seen.

Way to go Bud. You knew it was going to rain all night and you still let this game be played. You didn't stop it when the rains became torrential. You are an idiot.

So now instead of being a man, standing up to Fox and calling off the game before it started you've potentially ruined a World Series for the fans. And not just Phillies fans. All baseball fans.

As Sweaty (who is probably still too angry to see straight) commented to me earlier in an email: "This is exactly how I envisioned a World Championship moment going."

I hope Bud is thinking to himself right now that this situation is SO much better than just playing a postponed-from-the-start Game 5 on Wednesday or Thursday.

Friday, October 24, 2008

A Question to Our Readership

Can someone please explain to me why FOX had no less than 10 cutaways to Maddon in the dugout during the 9th? Sweaty and I had 1210 on to avoid being infected with Tampa Fever by having unprotected aural with Joe Buck so we had no idea why they felt the need to show the manager of the Rays at least 10 times. In a half inning.

A Review of Game Two in One Word


Thursday, October 23, 2008

Know Thine Enemy...And Mock Him

Say what you want about Phillies fans and the City of Brotherly Love, but here are two things this town would never, ever, EVER do:

1. Print a "Baseball Primer" on the local news website. Seriously. Check it out. It contains such highlights as:

DOUBLE PLAY: A routine but difficult play in which the defense gets two outs with one pitch.


UP THE MIDDLE: A ball hit back past the pitcher, over second base and into center field.

This is the fan base of the media darlings? Isn't baseball supposed to be our official past time here in America? Did a large contingent of Lost Tribes of the Amazon choose Tampa for their annual convention?

No wonder they bring cowbells and have blue mohawks. I can't take looking at these misfits any more, and it's been one game!

2. This:

As [Lidge] warmed up before the bottom of the ninth, the scoreboard showed a montage of film clips to rile up the fans. It ended with a snippet of Sylvester Stallone in a sweat suit, thrusting his arms to the sky at the top of the art museum steps in Philadelphia.

If the Phillies needed another positive omen — as if surviving 13 hitless at-bats with runners in scoring position were not enough — there it was. Lidge retired the side in order to end the game.

Sweet Mary on a pogo stick. Game one of the World Series was played in Tampa. In that abortion of a stadium. Against the PHILADELPHIA Phillies. And they used a clip...from Rocky...showing Stallone at the top of the fire up...the....RAYS?

There are no words.

[Tip of the Hat to The 700 Level, Philly's finest sports blog]

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Game 1 World Series: 8:18 PM

Two observations:

1. The Glory soundtrack by James Horner was a nice touch to the WS preamble featuring McCain and Obama. How true it is. Foreshadow much?
2. The fucking cowbells are worse than New Kids on the Block. During the Rays intro it sounded like a whole stadium's worth of contestants were spinning on Wheel of Fortune. I couldn't blast Stevie Wonder any louder and I still want a zombie outbreak in Tampa.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Definitive 1000

We are going to be counting down the Definitive 1000 things. Why are they Definitive? Because The Friendly Friends have deemed them as such.

966 - The World Series

As I sit here on the eve of the Phillies' fourth trip to the World Series in my lifetime I began to reflect on the various feelings that the previous three brought:

1980 - I was 5. I'm sure a nice time was had by all. All I remember is there was suddenly a lot of Phillies stuff in my room

1983 - I was 8. I don't really remember much from being 8. I do remember that my organized baseball playing career came to an abrupt end when a grounder hit a rock in the infield and ended up hitting me full on in the mouth during t-ball tryouts.

1993 - I was 18. The entire 1993 season is one of my all-time favorite sports memories. Up to the final pitch of the 1993 season that is. I will never forget the total feeling of utter helplessness and despair when what happened, happened.

And this year:

2008 - I am 33. I don't know what's going to happen over the next week or so but I can say that I enjoyed the season so far. Not in the same way as 1993, since I'm no longer a slacker college student and I have a few more responsibilities now. And going in to the World Series I have a strange sense of calm. Excited, but calm.

One thing I do love about the Phillies being in the World Series is that it seems to have created an instant sense and feeling of camaraderie and friendship between people who wouldn't normally have the time of day for each other. Plus most conversations are about the Phils and the rotation and who's the DH going to be and how awful the Tropicana Dome is and how great it is that the city isn't putting any Phils garb on William Penn and how great the Phillies' sweep will be (note to the baseball gods, I don't agree with this sentiment so this is not a jinx statement) and where are we going to watch and what excuse will you use for work for the parade?

It's a nice feeling to have. We don't have a whole lot to agree on these days (see the previous post for more on this). And for this reason I hereby enshrine The World Series in the Definitive 1000.

Perhaps a World Series win will come in at #965??

For getting through all of this, may I present a hot Phillies girl, courtesy of
the fine folks at We Hate to Lose

Are YOU a Real American?

I came home this evening to find out from Mrs. Jewbacca that we are NOT real Americans.

See, we are registered Independents since neither of us identify enough with either party to say we're a "D" or an "R." Couple that with the fact that we tend to lean toward the Democratic side of things AND the fact that in most peoples' minds Democrat=Liberal and you get this from

A North Carolina congressman locked in a tight re-election race admitted Tuesday to recently telling a crowd of John McCain supporters that "liberals hate real Americans," the latest in a string of comments from Republicans that appear to question Democrats' patriotism.

Ergo, we are not real Americans. There is no hope for us.

I guess our home ownership, our taxpaying history, the fact that we both work very hard at our jobs (another jab at "liberals" is that they don't have jobs where they have to work hard), our service to our community, our charitable donations and our American flag constantly waving from our front porch is not enough for some people. Oh well.

But here as a Friendly Friend public service is a quick quiz you can take to determine if you are a REAL American:

So how'd you all score? Any sudden ex-pats out there who want to gather in the local ex-American bar and watch the Phillies?

Thursday, October 16, 2008

My Zombuddy David

I'm so proud. One of my best friends made the Colbert Report. Check it out: That zombie pic? That's my boy David. He was a groomsman in my wedding. We go way back. We did all sorts of crazy things together, alive-things.

Apparently this image was sold as photostock and made it all the way to the big time.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


Fifteen years ago I was a young buck freshman at the University of Delaware. We all packed into some guy's room in our dorm to watch the Phils take the NLCS from the hated Braves.

Our RA let us run wild for a while to celebrate. We took him up on it, pounding on all the doors in the dorm and then running outside to whoop it up.

What did I do tonight?

Enjoyed Harry the K on the radio coverage, wondered how those two Phillies Phans got seats behind home plate, thanked the heavens that there would be no more Manny talk this post season, quietly savored the victory. Woke up the Missus to let her know the news.

But I'm no less happy, just fifteen years older and a responsible member of society.

Should the Phillies break the 25 year curse in my fair city? That's an entirely different story. With the Eagles doing their usual mind-smashingly best to ruin my winter and the Flyers off to a 0-2-1 start, I can't be responsible for my actions should a parade occur here.

And this post? Finished and saved as a draft at 10:57 p.m. Sweaty might kill me for nearly jinxing the whole thing.

UPDATE: Thanks to The 700 Level you can now enjoy the final out the way it was meant to be...with Harry Kalas and a somehow not as annoying as usual Wheeler:

Friday, October 10, 2008

NLCS Game 2 "Live Picturebook"

First off, The Friendly Friends would like to extend our deepest condolences to Charlie Manuel and his family.

Second off, stay tuned for one Friendly Friend's attempt to convey his deepest feelings through easy to understand pictures as the Phils battle the Dodgers in Game 2 of the NLCS:

Mid First Inning

Are you kidding me? Three up three down is about as good as we could hope for. Looks like Myers is on...

End First

It's half-full,'s half-full...

Mid Second

Good damage control by Myers, one run isn't a problem....right?

End Two

Myers for MVP of everything!

Mid Third

Serious Myers can still have MVP?

End Third

loldog, happy dog, dog playing in the grass, cute dog picture

Three RBI??? You can absolutely keep that MVP.

Mid Fourth

There go the three RBI...thanks Ruiz!

End Fourth

Interesting stat during that inning...Ryan Howard is 2 for 17 with 1 run and 1 RBI in the postseason. Brett Myers is 4 for 5 with 3 runs and 3 RBI.

Mid Fifth

Just cruising along...

End Fifth

This Ryan Howard is only two hits behind the Phillies' Ryan Howard this post-season...

Mid Sixth

Thanks Durbin...

End Sixth

Not sure if 3 runs will be enough...

Mid Seventh

For the catch...

For the song...

End Seventh

I'm worried too Julie. They're getting hit a little too much...

Mid Eighth

Three up, three down for Madson...

End Eighth

Lidge, Lidge, Lidge, Lidge, Lidge...

Mid Ninth

THANKTHEEVERLOVINGLORD!!!! Can't the Phillies do anything easy???

As always the flower pics are from Mrs. Jewbacca's garden...