Saturday, May 12, 2007

The Definitive 1000

We are going to be counting down the Definitive 1000 things. Why are they Definitive? Because The Friendly Friends have deemed them as such.

#991 - NTN Bar Trivia

As you are by now aware gentle reader, The Friendly Friends have undertaken to list the Definitive 1000 things. We alone decide what makes it to the list. But when The Mighty Malagan sent this in, I had to agree that it belongs on this list. Without further ado...THE MIGHTY MALAGAN:

Ode to bar trivia…
Every year, Jewbacca and I trek across state lines to watch junior hockey. That in itself can be a little hard to understand if you don’t follow hockey that close. But this entry does not honor all that is good with junior hockey. This is all about an activity that occurs on the above mentioned trips; bar trivia
(And just that NTN trivia, not Quizzo...that's for nerds - Ed.).

This is the type of person that plays Quizzo

These hockey trips allow Jewbacca to feel smart, once a year. The night before the first game (if we are there for 2 games) we always find a local watering hole, either a chain place or a Gippers type venue, for wings, beers, nachos, and TRIVIA. This is when Jewbacca decides its time to embarrass and humiliate the locals, who are usually not among the most worldly and educated people (According to The Mighty Malagan, not Jewbacca). As Jewbacca tries to come up with a cool alias for the scoreboard, he usually finds himself late in the game and in 3rd or 4th place (Do you hve any idea how hard it is to sum up my entire personal mission statement in just six characters?). Not to worry, he has plenty of time to come back and win. And he has managed to do that EVERY TIME. It doesn’t matter if he can’t see the screen, or if his fingers are greasy from Definitive Item #992, he always finds a way to achieve trivia greatness, at the local’s expense. And after this momentous event occurs, the other participants peel themselves away from their mugs of Pabst Blue Ribbon to scan the bar looking for the out of towner who just whooped on them, all the while the both of us usually stick out like a very sore thumb.

So there you have it. #991 from the Malagan. He speaks the truth people.

And since these trips involve watching junior or minor league hockey in far flung locales, I would be remiss if I didn't congratulate the Lewiston MAINEiacs on going 16-1 in the QMJHL playoffs to add a President's Cup Championship to their regular season championship. Good luck in Vancouver!

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