Thursday, April 5, 2007

The Definitive 1000

We are going to be counting down the Definitive 1000 things.
Why are they Definitive?
Because The Friendly Friends have deemed them as such.

#996 - Inigo Montoya

I actually woke up this morning with Inigo's catchphrase in my head and could not shake it all day. That got me thinking: "What a swell guy that Inigo Montoya was."

For those of you who have spent their lives living among the Amish, or under a rock his catchphrase appears to the left. He uttered this line with such single minded purpose that he was able to overcome great odds to finally kill the man that killed his father.

But I get ahead of myself. Let's examine what Mr. Montoya had to go through to get to this triumphal moment:

1. As mentioned before, he witnessed the six-finger man kill his father when he was a mere pup.

2. He spent his entire life studying the great masters of sword fighting to one day avenge his father.

3. He had to carry probably the most inept team of criminals ever. A guy that thought he was a genius but wasn't and a giant that couldn't even beat Cary Elwes in a wrestling match. Seriously, can you think of a more bumbling crew of kidnappers?

4. He got his butt whooped in a sword fight by a former stable-boy/pirate who had just climbed a rope up several hundred feet of sheer cliff-face. Alright, to be fair, he was such a gentleman that he allowed Westley to rest up before the fight.

5. He goes on an epic bender.

6. He gets revived by Andre the Giant dipping his head in buckets of water, alternating between hot and cold.

7. He has to deal with the medieval medical insurance maze to get Westley help from Miracle Max.

8. He starts out on the short end of the sword against Rugen.
He even gets a scar to match the one he received as an eleven year old when he first met Rugen. And gets stabbed in the stomach to boot.

And that brings us back to the beginning. He still unloads the smack down on Rugen, avenging his father's death. He never wavers and never strays from his goal. He is a beacon of inner strength. He pursues his mission like the Sweaty Irishman pursues buffalo wing dip.

We can all learn a lesson from Mr. Inigo Montoya. And for that, I believe he earns a place in the Definitive 1000.

1 comment:

FFMatt said...

Never go in against a Jewish Wookie when the Definitive 1000 is on the line!