I Still Hate The Penguins, But This Is Kinda Cool...

I didn't stick around until the bitter end yesterday. I was saved by a Reno 911 marathon and a well-timed fire call so I didn't get to see the handshakes or the post-game celebration kick in the gut.

But doing my post-mortem of the season this morning turned this up, from TSN.ca:

PITTSBURGH - There were smiles and pats on the back. But no jumping up and down at the buzzer and certainly no wild celebration in the dressing room.

The Pittsburgh Penguins continue to surprise with their maturity and poise, calmly digesting their latest chapter in what is proving to be a magical season, a 6-0 win Sunday over the Philadelphia Flyers that clinched a Stanley Cup final berth.

''We still have a long way to go,'' said Penguins winger Ryan Malone. ''So there's nothing to celebrate, that's for sure.''

Eastern Conference champion t-shirts and caps awaited the players in the dressing room. The players ignored them.

''We're not going to wear these shirts or these hats,'' said forward Pascal Dupuis. ''We want the big prize.''

Gotta give them some credit for that. It's nice to see a team not celebrate every single step of the journey to the Finals. I always wonder why baseball teams that clinch the Wild Card ("YAY!! We're the 4th best team in our league and would not have made the postseason at all if it wasn't for Bud Selig's 1990's money grabbing expansion!!!) soak each other with champagne.


Hope they don't regret it when Detroit destroys them in the Final...


[Original story on TSN.ca here. That's Canadia's version of ESPN, which almost singlehandedly kept me and the Mighty Malagan in our Oshawa hotel room. We'd never seen a Sportscenterre so packed with hockey highlights. I sobbed at its beauty...]

Great Season, but...

First off, thank you to the Orange and Black for giving us quite a season and our first visit to the Stanley Cup Playoffs since the 2005-2006 season. Rising up from the ashes of last season's debacle to make it to the Eastern Conference finals was above and beyond what anyone should have expected. So to the Flyers, thank you.

BUT...4-1??? Seriously??? A 6-0 blowout after what you guys did on Thursday night??

You came out with such intensity and determination on Thursday! Today you came out with whatever the exact 180 degree opposite of intensity and determination is. From the opening face-off on you looked lost and totally confused as to how to play the sport of hockey. How could a team that played with such fire on Thursday night (not to mention in the first two series) look so lost today??

Sigh. I think I would have rather the Flyers lost on Thursday night and not get eliminated by a 6-0 blowout.

But seriously, thank you for an always entertaining, though not always in a good way, season and 2/3 of a great post-season run.

Top 5 Come On Lines for Librarians

She blinded me with library science

1. You make me feel like classification 582 on the Dewey Sexual System.
2. "Semantic Tool" is my OCLC screen name.
3. Your enormous canvas tote really brings out your eyes.
4. I brought you this boquet made of Post-Its. No, they weren't from your budget.
5. Tonight your cats can watch us.

Why yes, I want to look up something...

No Sweep Til [crunchy guitar chords].....Pittsburgh!

Thanks to the Flyers for not rolling over and dying last night at home.

Now maybe to steal one in the 'Burgh and bring one game back to South Philly?

If they play the way they played the first two periods and the last couple of minutes of the third last night, on Sunday it's possible.

Am I calling the next in a series of 33 year miracles? You know the one about how the Leafs came back from a 3-0 deficit to win the Cup over the Red Wings in 1942, and then the Islanders came back from a 3-0 deficit to beat these same Pens in 1975 all leading to the fact that it is 33 years after the last one so someone is due?

Not yet.

But I will say this, they aren't getting swept.

I Hate Being Right

One of the most lackadaisical, bumbling displays of hockey I have ever witnessed.

Why do the Flyers (I'm looking at you Downie) have such an aversion to playing the "North-South" (a term I hate) game? Why did they insist all night on passing side to side instead of dumping it down low? Why do they look like an entirely different team than the one that won the first two rounds? Where the hell did Joe Beninati and Darren Eliot come from and can we send them back?

So either they roll over in Game Four or they raise our hopes by winning one on home ice, but it's over.

At least The Office is on. Ha! The one where Michael grills his foot and Dwight gets a concussion!!

Concussions aren't funny to Flyers fans....

I had hoped that a GIS for "Flyers Girls" would cheer me up. It didn't. But here you go.

A Thought At 9:14 p.m. As I Watch The Flyers' Season Slowly Die...

If they don't keep the puck in the Pittsburgh end for more than 10 seconds at a time, they are finished.

And so is the season.

Sweaty Irishman Thoughts

Phutile to be a Philadelphia Phan?

As you all know by now, The Friendly Friends are based out of the Delaware Valley. Making most of us loyal Philadelphia Sports Fans. We each have our favorites of course. I am an Eagles/Phillies guy with a strong interest in the Flyers and a very minimal interest in the Sixers. I think it would be safe to categorize Jewbacca as a Flyers Fan First & Foremost (That was a lot of non-obscene F words), then Eagles/Phillies and maybe even less then minimal interest in the Sixers. FFMatt, I would say is an equal opportunity fan for the Flyers/Eagles with the Phillies bringing up the rear, and again…Sixers are lame. If we get into Pissah and his new favorite Boston Teams or Shamalama and his bizarre mix of Chicago and D.C. sports teams we could be here all day.
Another interesting, well-known and tragic fact is, The Friendly Friends have grown up not knowing what it feels like to win a championship. Yes, we were all alive when the Phillies won it in 80. None of us were old enough to appreciate or care at the time. The Eagles have never won a Super Bowl. The last time the Flyers won the Stanley Cup it was socially acceptable that FFMatt and I were taking baths together and Jewbacca was still cultivating his Brillo hair and eating kosher baby food while watching episodes of Captain Noah and Al Albert’s Showcase.

Anyone else ever wonder about him and Larry Ferrari?

The Sixers were actually the last Philadelphia team to win a championship in 1983 and as stated earlier…who cares. We hadn’t even hit puberty yet anyway!
That finally brings me to the point of this post. We have all been waiting 25 years, basically our entire sports conscious lives to experience a championship…and we are still waiting. The Friendly Friends lives have been filled with occasional excruciatingly close near misses in this regard, but more often than not it was another regular season, followed by quick exit from the playoffs or no playoffs at all. We have had obstacles of all kinds in each sport. Some people call it the curse of William Penn, or if you are Mike Turico, the curse of Ben Franklin.

Who knew a Quaker would be so spiteful!

Ever since Philadelphia erected buildings taller than the brim of Billy Penn’s cap on top of City Hall in 1984 this city has gone winless. Poppycock I say! I don’t believe in that rubbish. I do believe we have had some pretty bad owners, coaches and players in the past 25 years though! But I also think we have had our share of bad luck and bizarre experiences.
We have learned so many things as Philadelphia sports fans. In 1993, the Phillies, and Jewbacca’s little brother, taught us that Joe Carter was one of the best power hitters of our time.

I will get yelled at for even putting this image on here.

In 1987 the Flyers taught us that the only thing that could stop them from winning the Stanley Cup is if they had to face perhaps the greatest professional sports team ever assembled.

I smashed my potato clock I was so upset.

Thank you Edmonton Oilers including, but not limited to…Wayne Gretzky, Mark Messier, Paul Coffey, Jari Kurri, Grant Fuhr, and Essa Tikkanen. The Flyers also taught us in 1997 that even the best team in Hockey can be swept in the Finals. In 2000 they were nice enough to teach us that a team up 3-1 in the Eastern Conference Finals can still lose, despite getting back their best player after gaining that 3-1 lead. We also learned a lot about concussions that year. The Philadelphia Eagles taught us in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s that the only way a team that’s defense that included Reggie White, Jerome Brown, Seth Joyner, Eric Allen and Wes Hopkins would not win a Super Bowl is if you had a coaching staff who put as much work into offensive game plans as I put into auto repair. They also taught us in 2004 that we would win our first Super Bowl…as long as our Quarterback didn’t vomit in the huddle and as long as our Coach included a 2-minute drill in the game plan.
We have had many other bizarre occurrences that have impeded our road to a championship in our lifetime. Horrible Aprils for the Phillies, an alien like Fog rolling in at Soldiers Field in Chicago,

This was like Scooby Doo fog.

and perhaps most of all, and the inspiration for this entry…injuries. I know players don’t use them as excuses (much) and I try not to as well, but I am getting fed up. Anyone in Philly not familiar with Torn rotator cuffs, Tommy John surgeries, Lisfranc injuries, sports hernias, concussions (Lindros), concussions (Primeau), concussions (Gagne)…and now…Blood Clot? A friggin blood clot? What? I am driving home from my last final of the semester last night…thinking about the upcoming summer, and also thinking about the excitement brewing in town. Our Flyers have made a remarkable run in the playoffs and are 4 wins away from another appearance in the Stanley Cup Finals! It has been unexpected, and that may be why it is all that more enjoyable. All that stands in our way is a hated Pittsburgh Penguin team loaded with fast young talent with names like Crosby, Hossa and Malkin. Not to worry though…the Flyers secret weapon…the man who has managed to keep in check the likes of Ovechkin and Koivu will be up to the task. Kimmo Timonen, the best Flyers defensemen in years and an All-Star has had as much to do with our success in the playoffs as anyone except maybe Martin Biron. He will make the difference! The only we can’t win this series is if he come down with some strange injury…like a blood clot!

Is this the new "water on the knee"?

The series starts tonight, without Timonen. I will root hard and I still think they have a chance, but once again The Friendly Friends have to get out their Medical Dictionaries and learn the name that may be given for the 26th year without a championship. Blood Clot. The official new mascot of Philadelphia…Buddy the Blood Clot.

My only weakness is Hemophilia

Finally, Someone With Enough Sense to Stand Up to the NRA...

Sgt. Steven Liczbinski

As some of you are aware, the unthinkable happened here in Philly over the weekend.

Three men thugs animals robbed a bank branch in a supermarket and killed a Philly Police Officer who responded to the call.

One of these animals was killed by police, one arrested and one is on the loose.

What did these animals use to kill Sgt. Liczbinski?

The SKS carbine - considered simple and rugged - weighs about 8.5 pounds and can be bought legally for as little as $179. Instructions for cleaning and routine maintenance can be found on YouTube.

And what kind of ammo?

The gun that killed officer Liczbinski was outfitted with a 30 cartridge magazine and fired a 7.62x39mm bullet...

What does that mean to those of us sane people not obsessed with guns?

The SKS dates to the mid-40s and was originally designed for the Soviet infantry. The Red Army replaced the SKS with the AK-47. The Chinese military bought the SKS manufacturing equipment and produced more than 8 million of them.

Here is the million dollar question: For what possible purpose would three worthless animals have such a firearm?

Pretty much for the reason it was used: To penetrate a police car and an officer's bulletproof vest. There is no other reason for anyone to own this gun. You hunt with it, and you will be picking pieces of the critter you killed (congratulations little man!) out of the surrounding trees.

And this is exactly why Mayor Nutter signed a bill into law that would outlaw the sale and possession of assault rifles in the City of Philadelphia. There is no earthly reason to have a weapon of this type, outside of the military uses for which it was designed, unless you work overnight security in Jurassic Park or have particularly angry killer whales on your paper route.

And what did Mayor Nutter get for his troubles?

The NRA immediately sued the city on the grounds that the city does not have the authority to enact local gun control. They obtained a temporary restraining order to keep the city from enforcing the new laws.

That's right. The NRA sued the City of Philadelphia to block the enforcement of this and four other laws the Mayor sought to have put on the books...in a city that saw 392 murders in 2007.

So what did the Mayor have for the NRA today?

"I think it's insane," Nutter said. "The fact that we put forward a piece of legislation to prevent the sale and use and transfer of assault weapons and have a Philadelphia police officer assaulted on the streets with one, I think makes it pretty clear to anyone who is confused about this issue that there's no reason for any citizen, any person other than in law enforcement or in the military to have such a weapon."

He added: "There's no legitimate argument by the NRA, they need to get in the real world where the rest of us live and come to grips with these kinds of issues. They owe an apology to the family for their staunch opposition over many, many years blocking legislative support for these kinds of matters.

Amen. Couldn't have said it better myself with a speechwriter and two editors.

The NRA's response? Who cares. This is 1/3 my site and I don't have to give equal time to anyone, least of all those lunatics in the NRA.

Am I naive enough to think that an assault weapon ban would have stopped this? No, I am not. There is a reason these animals were criminals...I doubt they would have let a little ban on assault weapons stop them from getting one.

Am I too naive to see that this may be the Mayor cashing in on a family's grief to prove a point in a political-legal battle he may very well lose? No, I see that as well.

But the point is someone in a position of power in this great Commonwealth of Pennsyltucky is standing up to the louts of the NRA. Will it go anywhere? Probably not. Will it stop the lobbying in Harrisburg to "protect" our "Second Amendment" right to bear arms ? Probably not. Will it even help to get the state's appellate courts to reverse themselves and allow Philly to police itself when it comes to guns? Not a chance.

Does it make me feel a little better about this f'd up world to hear an elected official actually call the NRA out? You bet it does.

And when something this terrible happens, you need to look at the little things that make you feel one iota better than you did a minute ago. So thank you Mayor Nutter for giving us at least that tiny bit of hope -- hope that maybe not all is lost when it comes to the NRA and its insane agenda.

Did I mention that Sgt. Liczbinski left behind a wife and three children? Want to help? Here's how:

Donations can be sent to: Stephen Liczbinski Family Memorial Trust Fund, Police & Fire Federal Credit Union, 901 Arch St., Philadelphia, PA 19107.

Donations can also be taken to the Fourth District, 1301 S. 11th St.; the 24th District, 3901 Whitaker Ave.; or the branches of the Police and Fire Credit Union at 901 Arch St., 7604 City Ave., 8500 Henry Ave., 3338 S. Broad St., Byberry and Bustleton Avenue (Leo Mall), 7500 Castor Ave., or 3330 Grant Ave.


[Picture from Philly.com as well as the quotes above]

[UPDATE: They caught the missing animal last night well before the self-imposed deadline of Sgt. Liczbinski's funeral!! May he rot in hell.]

Sorry NHL and Canada...

FLYERS WIN!! FLYERS WIN!!

I bet you're expecting a caption where Umberger points the way to the first tee...

Even though they were outplayed through most of the series the Flyers are on the way to their first Conference final since 2004. Biron and Umberger are probably the main reasons.

So the Orange and Black have foiled two of the NHL's master plans:

Plan A: Get the Caps into the Conference final against Crosby and Malkin. This will be a ratings bonanza.

Plan B: Get the most storied franchise in the history of the NHL, and the final Canadian team into the Conference final against anyone. This will be a ratings bonanza.

I believe Plan C involves some sort of "Lost"-like disappearance of the Flyers plane somewhere over the Allegheny Mountains.

In January 1907 the Kenora Thistles won the Stanley Cup by beating the Montreal Wanderers 4-2 and 8-6. Mike Richards is from Kenora.

So strap in Flyers fans. The NHL will probably stop at nothing to make sure that Crosby makes the Finals, so this series should have even more frustrating calls, non-calls and terrible video replays.

Hayden, you're not supposed to touch it until you win it...

3:15, Official WTF Time for May 2, 2008... 2 Way TIE!!!

1. I'm sitting in the Hershey Grill on break from attending a conference and the 3 women across from me couldn't spell "Reese's" for a word puzzle for the adorable 1 year old with them. Yes, word puzzle for a one year old.

After debating for 7 minutes on how it may be spelled they gave up. The collective sigh of relief in the area may have felt like air conditioning to their primordial nut brains.

2. All day at the conference I have been talked at by a security guard who seems to be a white supremacist, who mistakes my job (talking with people) as affirmation of his weakly veiled intense dislike of blacks and liberals. He just walked by and waved vigorously as I eat.

The problem with Earth is it’s filled with people.