Softcore Pirates

Hard times have flushed the downloading chump or at very least, exposed the hardcore music pirate for what they covet most: angry pirate music from Soft Cell and Bare Naked Ladies.

So what happens when music pirates DL and distribute enough music to go to pirate jail? And by that I mean State Hiney-Attack prison?

If you plan on being this kind of pirate then at least make sure that you download songs that keep your ass-ets safe when you answer the ring of gorillas surrounding you in the prison shower who ask, “What you in for?”

Top Eleven Songs/Albums that will get your pooper powned right inside the prison door:

1.“Shiny Happy People” R.E.M
2.“Sixteen Going on Seventeen” from the soundtrack to Sound of Music
3.“Making Love out of Nothing at All” by Air Supply
4.Anything by Stevie B. That is to say, that one song
5.The High School Musical Soundtrack
6.“From a Distance” by Bette Midler
7.“Cry Me a River” Babs Streisand
8.Elmo Sings (w/ Rosie O’Donnell)
9.“I Wanna Sex You Up” Color Me Bad
10.“She’s Like the Wind” Patrick Swayze
11.“Informer” Snow

Sigh. If only...