Tuesday, June 12, 2007

You Can Now Live (Vicariously) the Life of a Friendly Friend

Calm down. Deep breaths. I know. It's a lot to process. We Friendly Friends live non-stop go-go exciting lives. Personally, I am a jet-setting brain surgeon with a fleet of Lambos and jets at my disposal (by this I mean I have a Pacifica and a job as a government attorney). Sweaty Irishman is an international man of danger who woos some of the world's hottest women on a daily basis (and of course by this I mean he is happily married with the most adorable 3 month old).

Is it Tuesday already?

But through the magic of these here internets, we can bring you a day in the life of Sweaty Irishman and Jewbacca. We can now show you what two space-age marvels of masculine life in these crazy times spend their time doing between matadoring and saving lives:

Sweaty: If you could own a Peninsula filled with monsters or an island filled with rabid capuchin monkeys which would you choose? You have to live there by the way.

Jewbacca:Peninsula. not even close. Easier to escape.
If you could only drink one more beverage for the rest of your life,
and it would be as nutritious as any other but could still cause the
usual health problems (ie, beer still gets you drunk and fat and
stupid, but is as nutritious as milk for instance) what would you

We then went several minutes discussing why we would both choose water. But then, like an exciting, heart stopping bolt out of the blue:

Sweaty:If you could have access to one condiment the rest of your life, what would it be?

Jewbacca: Ranch Dressing. It is the condiment world's utility infielder who can
also pitch credibly and play all three outfield positions while
hitting .300 consistently. You can put it on everything: burgers, hot dogs, chicken, wings (I've done it in a pinch when bleu wasn't available), it is awesome to dip veggies into including french fries and stands in as a more flavorful substitution for mayo.

Sweaty: God man, you make a strong case. You may have swayed me to Ranch. It is versatile. It is like the Luis Aguiyo of condiments. I was gonna say BBQ sauce at first, but I too choose ranch!

Can you handle it?? How can you go back to your workaday lives after seeing how we live? And add FFMatt into the mix (who is unfortunately on IR right now because he wrenched his back fighting ninjas cage fighting lifting a bag of cement mix) and there is no way your lives can provide one one-millionth the excitement that being a Friendly Friend generates.


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