Thursday, April 12, 2007

Shamalama - A Memoir...





King of Kings. Jack of all trades. A cultured, sophisticated... MAN ABOUT TOWN!


Who is Shamalama? What makes him tick?


The year, 1981. A moment that would forever change the History books. An event that would redefine "Cool".


The setting, Orlando, FL. Fast forward 5 years.


I begin my education. I laugh, I love, I learn. I make my mark.


MayDay King. My reward... a solid gold Burger King crown and a suit from Sears.


Again we move forward.


Little League -- my illustrious career overshadowed by the stat, 0 homeruns. I decide not to go pro. Baseball isn't ready for me. At least that's what I tell myself.


On to Tennis. I coulda went pro... but the Sweaty Irishman took out his losing streak on my lucky racquet and my ankle. On to plan "C".


What was plan "C" again?


Present Day. Still in Florida. I hate beaches, the location and the movie. I hate lightning. I love cold weather. Its a land of retirees, transplants and crappy drivers. Very few natives anymore. I think its smallpox that's finishing off my people.


I'm a Cubs fan, but only been to Chicago once. I'm a Redskins fan, sorta. I love movies. I like to disagree with everything just for the hell of it.


I'm married and have two boys. How my wife puts up with me I do not know. My boys are as crazy as I am which is cool. Keeps everyone on their toes.


That's pretty much me in a nutshell. Portions of this telecast not affecting the outcome have been edited out. This introduction has been edited to fit your screen.


In parting...


"PUTTIN ON THE WITZ!"

1 comment:

FFJewbacca said...

Very nice work. You should do just fine around here.